well I talked with my mom yesterday for the first timew since we got back for christmas. she came in and asked if she had done or said anything to affend me-hats off to her for asking. but really i was truthful "you had 1 of my perps housesit for you and you neet to ask if i'm bothered by something? she said she didnt remember me telling her that he was "one of them". I dont know if I believe her I want to because if she is lying then .... the message that sends my inner kid is that I dont have worth and its o.k. to treat me like a hunk of meat. I was not sure how much to share with her. she had me when she was TOO YOUNG. and she still is \ can be ver immature and abusive depending on her mood. I tried to tell her enough so she wont forget this time i didnt want to be to graffic but damn it I told her at least 2 time before this about him. she knows I am good at cutting people out of my life if i dont think they are safe maybe she just didnt want to b cut out. I am still swirling with thoughts from Christmas.
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