Hey Buradi, It sounds like you need some clarity and support to help see you through this. Calling a battered woman's hot-line may do that for you, I'd think they'd have far better resources and support than I can offer you. What I can share is that, to me - this guy doesn't know what love is, physically assaulting someone doesn't show a deep form of true love. He's manipulative and abusive underlying whatever superficial kindness he may show to you. You deserve better. Relationships such as these only get worse. Build yourself up, come up with an escape plan, and then get rid of him. You deserve far better. Part of our journey as survivors is truly valuing ourselves, not allowing others to treat us poorly or manipulate us and rob us our our self-esteem and safety. You deserve more!

Buradi, I really don't have much to add to what taiyin said. I just want to reiterate, you need to take care of you. He may truly think he loves you but as taiyin said he doesn't know what true love is. You need to find a shelter or some form of support group to help you build a plan to leave him. Taiyin is so right you deserve better! Everyone here is happy to provide what support we can but as taiyin said you need someone who knows more and has better resources than we do.

Buradi, I just looked and there is a Domestic Abuse Survivor group, I didn't look at their posts or anything but you might see if you can find someone there who can provide you some support and guidance and help you find the strength to take care of yourself.

I'm assuming that you are very young and it's time to break the cycle now. I've watched this happen time and time again, and I hate the men that are this way, but women tend to pick the same men over and over with this type. I'm sorry for being blunt. I don't know why women choose the "bad boy" types. I do have my theories, but won't discuss them here. This will get worse! It's ok to be alone. You are not any less of a person without another person. I have no idea what your living situation is, but this could even get dangerous for you. Damn it! I've seen women leave a guy that beats them and then go back, or choose another guy who beats them. You are better than that!

I know I should leave him, but I love him and he isn't as bad as my past abusers......

Oh Buradi, you deserve sooooo much more than "isn't as bad as my past abusers". You deserve to be loved and cherished and if you don't do that for yourself...you can't expect other people to do it either. treego is right it's okay to be alone. I am guessing you are codependent and rely on other people to tell you, your value. Do you do self affirmations? I know they sound silly but they work. Find something you can tell yourself repeatedly every day...find something you like about you if that isn't possible then find something you can tell yourself you deserve. Something like I have pretty eyes, I'm a good person, I am smart...anything. If you can't find something about yourself that you like or can fake that you like then find something you can tell yourself...like I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be treated with respect. I deserve to be safe. You may not even believe what you are telling yourself but if you keep saying it over and over again it eventually becomes something you can believe. Buradi, you have to get yourself safe so that you can heal and work on you. You need to be emotionally healthyy before you enter into a relationship. Don't settle....you deserve happiness!

You are a human being! You do Not deserve to be treated like that. I am a Christian and whether you choose to believe this or not, YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND HE LOVES YOU! Even I am having a new revelation with doubts and have become a new person. I will pray for you. God sent his only son to die for us humans. That's alot of love. Trust him. Be single for a while. It's ok. Wait for the one who respects who you are. God's love is the only way to understand true love. Let me know your thoughts. I'll be praying for you. Be safe. He has no right to hurt you.

Better than your past abusers does not make him good. It's like eating a rotten fruit, just because it's less rotten than other ones you've had doesn't make it good for you. You have to realize, abuse, no matter how tiny or little you may think it is, is unacceptable behavior. He needs mental help, and you need to get out now. There is no excuse for how he treats you, there is nothing he can say that actually makes it ok. There is no excuse for abuse. He is an abuser, and just because he might be less abusive than someone else does not mean you should stay with him. You need to leave him.

Buradi.....love is not supposed to hurt. If a man is putting his hands on you or threatening to harm you...he doesn't know the meaning of the word "love". He is trying to control you because he is a weak, insecure little man. He has his own issues to work out before he will be ready to be in a relationship with you or anyone else. A man is supposed to protect and love his woman...he should lift her up...not knock her down.
My mother stayed with a man because "she loved him" even though he would beat her, rape her, sodomize her, belittle her, and threaten to kill her is she ever left him. She finally got out after he beat her so badly that he knocked out all her front teeth. She was lucky to have gotten out alive. Many women don't.
If he hurts you once...he WILL hurt you again and again. Get out before it's too late!
You are worth so much more than this. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen... not make you feel bad about yourself.
Best of luck to you!

You will never recover with all this. He doesn't love you. Not, the way he should. He is no better than your abusers. "Just a little abuse" is still abuse dear. It is never good for your self esteem. You are fighting with it already. What he is threatening you with is against the law. Unlawful Restraint. He can do some time for that. Also, that is physical and mental abuse. Drop him fast for even saying that crap. You have been through enough. He has no damn compassion and is a loser. Sorry for being so blunt, but you need to see what he is. You will never get better with a man like that to "loves you" that is NOT love.

You need to find a Women's resource center that will help you through restaring your life. They usually have free counseling and if need be, a place to run to to get out of that situation. I used to believe in miracles, but now I know that once a person abuses, they will always be that way, at least with you. No one deserves that kind of treatment and at the very least, you deserve to get out from under it long enough to be able to see clearly. The right time to put a stop to it, is the very first time it happens, or you'll get sucked up in it and waste your life and God forbid children become part of it, trapping you even deeper. The hotline is a good place to start, they can put you in touch with someplace local to start and move you far enough away, if need be, through the network.

He obviously has problems but you need to take care of yourself first. Extend the same compassion to yourself that you are extending to him. You are worth it. We love you. Seek shelter at a Women's center fast. We are here for you. So many of us are here for you xxx