The fact that I was sexually abused repeatedly by a family member has "come out of the closet" recenlty. The shocker is that my abuser was able to take that from me as well. I wasn't able to think about it, mourn it and then tell all in order to begin the healing process. I think for me the tell all part is important in order for me to be able to move on. He actually bragged about it to my husband of 10 years. Saying that he fucked me when I was 11. ( I am actually surprised my husband didn't commit a violent crime against him) As you can imagine this little secret has put a damper on family events as my husband refuses to attend, he'll stand by my decision to maintain silence but he refuses to associate with HIM. Needless to say, this opened up a flood of terrible memories that had been burried for some time. I now have vivid memories of HIM abusing me and his little sister (my cousins) when I was as young as 4 or 5. I also remember him making us (his sister and I) do things to each other. The first time I was raped by him I was 10. He couldn't even tell the truth about that. I remember thinking at least I hadn't started my period yet, so I couldn't get pregnant. This story never ends. I live three blocks away from him, he has children of his own and we share grandparents that love us both (they both have health problems) My problem is this: I finally feel strong enough to face my abuser but I don't want to hurt the rest of my family. My mom will have terrible guilt, it may literally kill my grandpa, one of my best childhood friends happens to be the mother of my abusers children so I would be rending her world in two as well. Should I "take one for the team", and keep my silence, after all I have so far, why not longer? Or, should I upset the apple cart to satisfy my own needs?
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