I am taking the advice of one of my good friend. She thought me talking about my problems would help me out. Well....where do I start. Being a man, I have problems addressing what happen to me when I was younger. First, my older half brother used to sexual and physical abuse me and my younger brother. When my parents found out, they did force him to leave, but instead of addressing the issue, they just avoided it. They knew about us getting beaten, but not really about the sexual abuse. On top of that, I had a older friend who was two years older then me. I looked up to him as an older brother. He was my best friend. One night when I was 10, he got me to drink, and I did. I passed out and then he raped me. THe next day, he acted like nothing happen. Once again, I could never tell my parents. I always had issues trusting people. I always felt it was my fault that everything happen to me. One of my families greatest models is just always act like we were the perfect family and avoid all problems. I put it in the back of my mind for years. I finished high school and got into a good college and graduated. In college, I did the whole fraternity thing and always seem like I had no problems. Yet, till I started drinking, especially with guys, when everyone somebody touch me such as a pat on the back, I flip put. I recently flipped out on a really good friend, who I told about my brother, but not about me actually getting raped. They tried to wake me up in the middle of the night and I flipped out. Since then, I have been having panic attack and nightmares, it was like a trigger. I just feel that this is a good way for me to address my problems
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