I hate my memory. It kills me. My uncle started touching me when I was about 6. I would be at my Granny's house, and after church I would get into my big shirt I slept in and go watch TV in her room. He would come in there and lie down behind me. He would rub my legs, and then slide his hand up between my legs and start rubbing. Sometimes he would enter me. One time my grandmother was just chatting away on the phone in the kitchen, cooking a huge meal. I could here her through the wall. Apparently so could he. He pulled off my underwear gently, and pushed me on my back. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him, but he just grabbed them, and with one hand, held my wrists against the matress over my head. His pants were already unzipped, and he pulled it out. He rammed it inside of me, and i started to cry. He moved back and forth, in and out, and it hurt so bad. I froze. I didn't scream, I just laid there with tears streaming down my face. He leaned down and whispered, "Do you feel that? Does that feel good?" It felt like it lasted forever! Then he got bigger inside of me, and I felt it pulse. It hurt sooooo bad. I was so scared, and felt so alone. Then he pulled it out and fastened his pants back. He put my hand between my legs and pressed it there. He pulled me off the bed, and told me to go to a shower, that Granny had said I was supposed to before dinner. I went in and cut the shower on, and just sat in the tub and cried quietly. I hurt down there, but not just down there, my stomach hurt, and my thighs hurt, and all of my insides just ached. This sharp throbbing ache, and I was bleeding. I watched the blood mix with the water as it went down the drain. By now the water was ice cold, and my Granny was yelling for me to hurry up and come to the table. The bleeding hadn't stopped yet. It had slowed down, but hadn't stopped, so I grabbed some toilet paper and crammed it up in there. That was a bad idea. I hit my knees instantly. It felt like someone stabbed me or something. But I couldn't get any on my underwear! Then I hurried up and dried off, and put my gown on. After that, when he would come in and touch me, he would pull it out and play with it too. He would always whisper in my ear, "Do you feal that? Does that feel good?" To this day I can feel his breath on my neck and the words in my ear, and I just want to cry. I'm sorry, but I just had to get that off my chest!
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