Incest Survivors Community Group

This group was created before there was an actual support group on this site for incest survivors. Most people are already comfortable here, feel free to add your thoughts, questions, and opinions. I'm here for anyone that needs me. -metalheadlxlxl

73 Members
472 Posts
1 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Incest Survivors Support Group

Is this wrong?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey, everyone. I haven't been active here in a long time... Well, my father passed away about a year ago, and after all that he did to me...I miss him terribly. Is that wrong? I mean, am I supposed to be happy that he's gone. I mean, I get it. He hurt me, but... Our relationship was consensual most of the time, and this whole thing is so confusing because now I don't know what to feel. I feel sick and disgusted with myself. I feel scared of myself and what I think. Am I alone in this? Is there anyone there with a similar experience?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i often say i wish my brother would die in a car accident, but sometimes i wonder if i'd truely be happy if that happened.

even if what happened was consenual, a father should know better than to have that kind of relationship with his daughter.

you're not sick or disgusting for missing him. thats what can get so tricky about incest, we cant always feel free to hate our abusers, because they're our family, and society tells us to love them. and because they're our blood, part of us probably always will.

this was a hard thing to admit to yourself and to us, you should be proud of yourself for opening up and dealing with how you feel.

Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user
no, your not alone. karen is right. when our abuser is a relative, it makes it so hard to come to terms with. with me, for instance, my abuser was my uncle. a man that had always treated me so kindly and i really thought loved me. he would have protected me from any harm in the world i am sure. we had so many happy times together. then he used me. took my virginity away. i didn't fight him. i just let it happen. anyway, the man that i had grown up loving, THAT is the man that i miss now. not the man he became. hmm... i'm not even sure that makes any sense.

hang in there honey, your not alone. we are here for you. big hug!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I too, can relate and you are not alone. My first sexual abuser was my oldest brother. I grew up without a father and he was like a father figure to me. Even though he abused me, he was "nice" about it...I grew up, after the abuse stopped, feeling like I was in love with him. Not a sexual love but just great love and admiration...weird, I know. But he had played many roles in my life so its understandable. Now, I dont have thoes in love feelings for him. I dont particular have any feelings for him good or bad. I dont want him dead but I also dont want him in my life...make sense???
Take Good Care All

HUGS!!!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • carrie415

    Widow/Widowers Traveling/Cruise Trips??

    Posted by: carrie415
    Last Reply: Myfavorite
    11
    I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: lovesloons
    11
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...