I worry that you say you aren't brave. I briefly read your profile and you've been through a lot. I'd say you are very, very brave to have made it this far.

I only recently came to terms with the magnitude of what happened to me. I felt terrified someone was going to come and hurt me, too. I can completely relate to your fears. You are making perfect sense.

I think that sometimes when we experience the abuse we bury our fears in order to survive. When they come out later on in our lives, we experience the emotion as if it were happening. Only it isn't. So we think we're crazy, or weak, or not brave. Facing that fear is a very brave thing to do.

If you ever need to chat, I'm here for you. I'm still experiencing random moments of intense fear that I have to talk myself through. I was terrified one of the perps was going to come and kill me. I'm sure he's capable. I spent about 5 days shaking and hiding in the corner before I finally came out of it. It's not easy but just know that eventually, it does get easier. The fear subsides and you become even stronger than you already are.

Be gentle and be patient. You have support here.

you are brave... you always have been.... you went through abuse, anyone that goes through abuse and lives through it, they are brave. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS, WE ARE BRAVE, WE HAVE WORTH, AND WE ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE.

How do we get beyond it all? The only way out is through. On your profile it says you're in therapy. Are you talking about the abuse in therapy? If you're only working on the depression, its like wiping up the blood from a gaping wound. But dealing with the abuse will be like stiitching up the wound and stopping the bleeding. This is a hard road, no doubt about it. But it is doable. You do not have to feel this bad forever. The things that helped me get beyond it all are:
Therapy - particularly EMDR
The Courage to Heal book
Group therapy
Journaling

Please be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))

Thank you so much for your replies, yes I am going through the abuse in my therapy, it is so hard right now & I am only just breaking away from the people who abused me, I guess my fears are real for now but want to get through this, I want to stop burying the pain & face it all instead, I want to be a survivor not a victim

i think just by joining this site, this group more specifically, you are brave.

You have made the first step by joining this group. Now that you have done this, take it easy on yourself, no sense beating yourself up about this. We are good people and we deserve the best we can get. Take one step at a time, even if a baby step and when you can deal with that step then take another one. In time with dealing with this and talking, then you can see the hope at the end of the road to a better tomarrow.

We are all brave here just by trying to deal with the abuses. Some of my perpetrators are dead and at times I'm afraid that they will come back and hurt me in some way. I know it's not rational. It's a fear. Feras are not rational just by the very nature of what a fear is.

F E A R

F False
E Evdidence
A Apperaring
R Real

The above works for me, using this acronym. It does not always work. But, for these type of situations ;I repeat it over and over to stop the fear from immobilizing me.

For me, it makes perfect sense. The perps made us a victim. It's difficult not to victimize ourseves. My prayers. Good work!

Hey there, my LLP!!!! WAY TO GO for adding this post!! We will get through this together. It sucks, i know, but, we will get through it. You KNOW that i luff you and i am here for you.... always and forever!!!