I have a tremendous amount of guilt and shame in regard to the incest. Intellectually I know that it wasn't my fault, but I don't quite believe that 100%. I don't believe the abuse is any other survivors fault, but when it comes to me... I can't help but blame myself feel ashamed (for many reasons). The guilt and shame is eating at me. I can't sleep right now, because of it. I had a therapy session yesterday and I thought about things about the abuse that I try my hardest never to think about. I couldn't muster up the courage to tell my T about them. Even though I'm away from my father, it's this damn guilt and shame that continues to imprison me. One day I'm going to be free of it. Why is it that so many of us feel guilt and shame when the real ones that need to be feeling those feelings are the perpetrators? Grr!
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