Iâ??m an incest survivor. It was my father. I never recall a time where he wasnâ??t abusing me. I finally got away from him when I was eighteen. Iâ??m now twenty-eight. Itâ??s affected my life immensely. One of the ways itâ??s affected my life is I have a hard time saying no. Can anybody relate? Iâ??m writing about this, because I think Iâ??ve gotten myself into a bad situation. Iâ??m about to write something that could be triggering, so please stop reading if you feel talking about something sexual might trigger youâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦..Thereâ??s this way older guy that has been very friendly with me. Iâ??ve thought of him as a good friend, until one day recently, riding in the car with him he took my hand and put it on his crotch and I ended up giving him and hand-job. I was in shock. Heâ??s going through a lot. I feel bad for him. Last Saturday I went with him, a couple of his friends, and his wife to church and out to eat. When we were at the restaurant he flirtatiously pinched me under the table. I didnâ??t say anything. Heâ??s taking me out to dinner tonight. I really wanted to say no I donâ??t want to go, but Iâ??m afraid. I wish I had the guts to call him and ask, â??How should I dressâ?¦to go out to dinner or to give you a hand-job? â?? Ugh! I donâ??t want to do anything sexual with him. Iâ??m hoping that maybe Iâ??m overreacting and that nothing will happen. If he ask me to do anything sexual, I hope to goodness that this time Iâ??ll tell him no. I wish I could call him up right now and tell him that I canâ??t go. Where is my strength? Why canâ??t I just do it? Iâ??m terrified of saying no to him. Iâ??m afraid of hurting his feelings and Iâ??m also afraid of what he could do if I do say no (he knows a lot of people in the city). Iâ??m trying to grow and make a life for myself. UGH! Iâ??m so confused and scared. Iâ??m trying to get through this day. I was wondering if anybody else can relate. Also I was wondering if thereâ??s anybody that can relate, but eventually learned how to say no? If so to the second question, how did you get there? Thanks.
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