Things have come back up from my past that I have had to see a counselor about. I feel weird talking to her or here. I have kept it in so long. I was 7-8 and my brother started molesting me. I don't remember how long it lasted, how many times, but I do remember a couple times. I do remember him urging me to touch him and how to stroak him and him releasing, then him telling me not to tell mom, and I remember on my dad's shop floor. The wood digging in my back as he was on top and me telling him to stop and him saying he was stuck in me and he had to stay in. Like I said don't remember a lot, probably blocked most of it out who knows. I have not seen or spoke to my brother in like 12 years and everything was just buried deep in me, until he got back in touch with us and everything came back up. No one knows of course and they never will. Me and my brother never talked about it either. It happened for a time and then it stopped and everything was good and a happy family. I ignored it and pretended for so long until I heard his voice on the phone two months ago. He is planning on a trip here to see me and mom. Everyone is so happy, yeah! (Sarcasm). I am over the top anxious and nervous and like I have to be up and do something, walking around the house and doing one thing to another. Overwhelmed! Thanks for listening.
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