Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group

Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardless of the capability of ejaculation. There are various underlying causes, such as diabetes, many of which are medically reversible. The causes may be physiological or psychological.

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Stage Fright

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello everyone, I'm a 29 year old male and I consider myself to be very healthy and fit. I've just recently gotten out of a 10 year old relationship and as I started dating, I've noticed that I am suffering from performance anxiety. I've had one unsuccessful sexual encounter so far and, probably the fact that the girl viewed me as a one night stand and treated me pretty bad when I didn't get an erection, didn't help. I know that it is performance anxiety because I have morning wood and I have no problem maintaining an erection when I am by myself. I first thought that it might be due to my break up with my long time partner but then I remembered that when I first started dating her I had the same problem and, with her help it went away in a couple months and never came back for the next 10 years. I wanted to start this discussion to see if more people have this problem and ways to overcome it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Stage Fright or Performance Anxiety is something that I've had to deal with, as well, until I became more comfortable with her and she with me. After the first couple of times, things are back to normal. I once took 50mg of Viagra before my first encounter and it certainly helped. This was cheating a bit and I certainly didn't tell her. I was with her for about a year and I never really had any problems after that first time. I'm not recommending this method, though. I am currently in a new relationship and I didn't do anything when we were first together. Luckily, she's listened to me and we'll be trying again soon. Holidays and illness has kept us away to try again. Thanks for posting a discussion on this. It's a worthwhile topic.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Efes, I also am 29 years old and have had to deal with an identical situation as yours (other than the 10-year relationship). I have seen a couple therapists regarding the issue and it has been helpful.

The key is to understand that a lot of guys have experienced this, regardless of whether they admit it or not. You are not alone.

It is also VERY important that you do not beat yourself up over it. Learn to be your own bestfriend. It is no big deal if you cannot perform like a rock-hard porn star all the time. The issue is only temporary and will pass soon. There is nothing physically wrong with you, it's only your negative internal voice that gets in the way. Whatever girl you may be in bed with is not going to compare you to other lovers she has had. I've been with several girls in my life and I have personally never compared any to the others. Any girl that treats you badly for not having a crowbar for a penis at that very moment is certainly not worth a second thought anyways.

When attempting to have sex, remember that it is for your enjoyment and you only need to focus on your orgasm, and she is responsible for hers. That is not a chauvinist mindset, it is reality. Focus on whatever turns you on most about her and don't think about anything else.

I promise you will get over this in due time. Soon it will be in the past.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow all i know for sure is i have ed going to therapist seems to help me. i would like to talk with anyone that has this problem as i think it may help thanks for posting this
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think that "one night stands" are not for you. You care about what the women are with think. Date. Dating doesn't alway mean sex immediately. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You sound like an old fashioned type you just need to be comfortable I would suggest dating one person for a while and if you feel comfortable enough to talk to her about the issue you will probably feel comfortable enough to maybe maintain an erection if not the first time but soon after
best of luck
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