Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group

Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardless of the capability of ejaculation. There are various underlying causes, such as diabetes, many of which are medically reversible. The causes may be physiological or psychological.

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Oral Sex and ED

I am crazy in love with a man who has ED. I have been talking with him for some time now and during our conversations and time together I started to pick up on a \"problem\" Well 2 days ago we finally had sex....well kind of...He plesured me orally and gave me all the attention I could ever hope for except he never obtained an erection. :-(
I tried giving him the best oral sex I could give and he didn\'t get hard!!! I was shocked! He didn\'t let me try for long and while we had sex he did ejaculate, but It never got fullly erect :-(
My question is this..... for men with ED does oral sex still feel pleasurable? And I will take any information that you think may be helpful. Since we are just newly dating, he hasn\'t shared with me any information pertaing to his condition so I don\'t know for how long or what may be the cause. I can tell you that he is 46 and doesn\'t take any medication and is in great physical condition. He doesn\'t smoke, drink or use drugs. I would appreciate any info anyone would share.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I can only speak for myself. I also do not get an erection. I have been able to for four or five years and sex for me is still very satisfying. My condition has also alowed my partner(s) and I to experiement with toys. That opened a few new doors.

Oral and digital sex bring me to orgasm and ejaculation which feels just as good to me (maybe better) than it ever did.

I also get sexually excited watching my partner reach multiple orgasms, knowing I am helping her. My current partners tell me they are fully sexually satisfied with our sex.

At his age, I would suggest he try one of the erection disorder pills. They worked for me for a while, then stopped.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I too am an old guy (70). I had ed after a heart attack and prostate removal about 10 years ago. I could rarely get an erection the first year. But yes, I could experience an orgasm even though I could not ejaculate. My wife and I used a very powerful vibrator then, still do. Then we tried a penis vacuum pump. It worked most of the time. But still I had to maintain her orgasms orally. After a while and with the help of viagra, we now enjoy solid erections most of the time we have sex (usually twice a week).
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thought I might add that my wife gets orgasms either by my stimulating her orally, by penis [penitration, and by orally pleasing me.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you for all your shared information.
bobinmaine
bobinmaine

one out of every 2 men over the age of 40 will develop ed to some extent. Have him request a free sample of viagra from his doctor. I bet that will help. It did me. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yea...as soon as he talks to me about it I will definately suggest it, but he seems to be thinking I didn't notice. I might have to wait until the next time we are intimate to bring it up myself. I haven't found the right opprotunity. I think he thinks that him giving me oral sex is enough, don't get me wrong it is GREAT, but I want to feel him....
This is a cruel disorder and I truly feel for all the men going through it but after I read all day about it, I am hopeful
BTW...check out this excellent article for anyone who is new to this disorder http://www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=60141
deleted_user
deleted_user

Kall -
I am also in a loving relationship with a man who has ED. He is 63 and his ED is the result of drinking and diabetes... While our sexual intimacy is very satisfying, I feel a little disconnected; I also do not relish the prospect of *only* providing his orgasms through oral sex... I need to know: For a man with ED, is oral sex enough?
deleted_user
deleted_user

In answer to np's question, I am fully satisfied by oral.
And for kall, you may not understand this at all but I cannot tell if I am or am not erect. If I am not looking or not touching it, I can't tell the difference. Quite honestly, if I am not watching, I can't tell if my partner isusing her tongue or fingers to stimulate me.
Maybe he thinks you did not notice, but I wonder if he noticed.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi All,
Am new to the site. I am 65 and had a TURP four years ago for BPH. Was gradually getting ED before that for which I used viagra. Fairly effective before the TURP; doesn't sustain erection for intercourse anymore. Tried cialis and levitra also;no better. Urologist prescribed vacuum pump recently and I have been practicing getting erections. Have not tried intercourse yet, but it would seem that its going to work okay because the pump definitely blows that puppy up. Oddly, I have "bubble" on the bottom of my penis toward the base; almost like a hernia. Haven't told the urologist about this yet. Anyone else had this phenomenom?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Can tell you that H only gets an erection (w/o meds) during oral stimulation. Our 'regular' sex life is non existent.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Due to the fact you say you are in love, may I suggest you ask him when was the last time , if ever, he has had a prostate exam? Most men think that they don't need that done until they are "old". After noticing my husband getting up alot to urinate at nite, with a start-stop weak stream, adding the ever increasing lack of a good erection, I insisted it was time to talk to the doctor..he had prostate cancer-don't want to scare you- it was advancing quickly & required immediate treatment. Many times prostate cancer, if caught early, can be completely erraticated-there are many types of treatments now. It's just a suggestion..we tried the ED pills at first and it wasted time. He is ok now, cancer wise, the Erections are ..excuse the wording.. touch & go. We are working on it. Btw, he was 49 when we got the diagnosis. That was 4 years ago. Good luck, I hope he will talk to you about it, maybe letting him know your concern stems from love...
deleted_user
deleted_user

I too have erectile dysfunction - I can get it up sometimes, but its hard work!

However, an erection is not necessary for a man to experience pleasure. Oral does wonders for me - its a shame that my wife now refuses to perform oral on me. She used to be ok with it, but now, she thinks its dirty and disgusting.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My guy also very rarely has erection. Any erections he has are also either weak or too brief for both of us to enjoy. In the year and a half that we've been dating, we have never had "conventional" sex by coitus.

Although we physically relate extremely well, the prospect of being restricted fellatio bums me out, big time.

And I constantly wonder about how this will impact our future potential...
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi Kall,
I too am in a new relationship with a man who has ED. He did tell me that he was using a little yellow pill about an hour brfore intercourse and he was able to maintain an erection, not always hard enough to penetrate but with the assistance of oral sex, he did get hard and did have an orgasm. His best orgasm is with a hand job. He does get aroused by just kissing and touching. I know he is on high blood pressure pills and also on an antidepressant, and I know that both of these meds can cause ED side effects. He is such a sweet and giving kind of guy and i want him to enjoy sex as much as I do. I am wondering if an ejaculation feels really good for him or not? He doesn,t seem to react the same way other men have. I have not really talked to him about this yet and don't plan to until I get some advice from guys on this forum. I would sure like to do all that I can to stimulate him and make him happy. I'm finding that I'm not looking for an orgasm myself...I am wanting to give him one!
HH2
deleted_user
deleted_user

I used to need my GF to give me oral to help me get it up. Lately that isn't working. It used to feel great, not I can't really feel anything. but when I get it up with a pill, and she does it, it feels pretty good. But sometimes I go limp even with the pill. So, anyway, yes it still feels good if I'm not erect, but not as good as if I were erect. But that's me.