Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group

Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardless of the capability of ejaculation. There are various underlying causes, such as diabetes, many of which are medically reversible. The causes may be physiological or psychological.

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deleted_user 10/25/2007

ive been with my boyfreind a while now and everythings been great, we recently moved in together and ive been really happy with him. our sex lifes always been really good, the best! untill recently. a few weeks ago he couldnt get an erection, i couldnt understand it because i usaully really turn him on and i dont consider myself unattractive. i got really defensive about him not getting an erection, had a few words to him and felt so shitty about not being able to turn my man on but i put it down to a one off. then it just kept happening all the time, but 90% of the time it will happen during intercourse or when im pleasuring him and i just dnt understand why! i ask him and he says he doesnt know why, he says he just thinks about his erection the whole time and then he just loses it! what does that say about me? this past few weeks ive began to feel so sexually unattractive, at the end of the day i feel like i cant satify my man, that what i do isnt nice enough or good enough for him. i just keep thinking if i was that attractive and sexy like he says he would be able to keep it up surely. i prob sound selfish but im getting so fed up. i cant understand why he can get an erection and then he loses it when hes inside me or something, what does that say about me.
it happened last night and just before it happened i looked at my stomach and thought it looked wobbly and gross and then 30 secs later he lost his erection so that just made me upset thinking he thought the same about my wobbly bits.
i know it must be horrible for him but he cant care that much because ive told him to go see a doctor and have a chat but he hasnt, maybe hes embarressed but surely he can overcome that for the sake of our relationship because this is driving a wedge between us and i cant feel like this for the rest of my life no matter how much i love him. i feel undesired, un sexy and bloody fat and ugly. i just dont understand how everythings just changed and its driving me insane.
im sorry if i do sound selfish im just telling from a womans point of view how its making me feel. i wanna help him but he would rather not listen and continue to push me out so i dont know what to do. im so angry all the time

deleted_user 10/27/2007

from a mans point of view atleast mine i was 33 when ED first started and OMG i knew the first time like night to day what was happening and mentally/psychologically it was there in my mind not helping things.. you should'nt even think its got anything to do with you

deleted_user 10/27/2007

good morning john, thanks

deleted_user 10/31/2007

yeah, I agree completely with this.

I sometimes find it ironic, how many women just assume that a man can get, and keep, an irrection at will.

Granted, I'm sure there are men in the world who have that gift, but I don't think the majority of men are like that at all.

I think men aren't that much different then women. sometimes there in the mood to make love, sometimes their not. Sometimes their mind is cluttered of other thoughts to be in the mood at that particular time. It doesn't mean their partiner isn't attractive, it just means there not in the mood, or what it could be, is the same position or style over and over, and possibly trying different things may help to spark a mood.

I don't know, but I do know, its a personal thing, just like it is with women. A lack of an irrection, in this case I think, just simply means, the mood is gone at that particular moment, thats all :) so just let nature take its course and don't worry about it so much :)

deleted_user 11/01/2007

I do understand that from a woman's point of view, even when the causes are physical and beyond the man's control it still leaves both of you frustrated. It affects you both psychologically as well as physically. My impotence is caused by diabetes and deteriorating circulation plus too many medications, still my SO couldn't shake the thought that it was because she just could't turn me on anymore. Years of Viagra and other related treatments were only marginally effective. Finally my urologist offered me a solution which has been around for years, but most men shy away from it. It worked very well and now, even though we both know it is a medical solution, we have a much better attitude about sex and each other, plus we have great sex when we have it. Knowing the facts, that is isn't either person's fault, just isn't enough when dealing with such a powerful and emotional issue.

BugsBunny22 11/01/2007

FROM A MAN'S POINT OF VIEW, AT LEAST MINE, AS WELL, I WAS 35 WHEN MY ED FIRST STARTED. I REALIZED IT WAS DUE TO MY HEALTH, NOTHING MENTAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL. MY WIFE WASN'T TO BLAME. SHE IS VERY ATTRACTIVE. THE MS HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT. DON'T FEEL YOU ARE TO BLAME OR THE CAUSE OF IT.

deleted_user 02/21/2008

I know you are confused but it is not you. you have not changed anything (have you?) i mean in a bad way. you are still being sexy anrd trying to excite him. He is just having a problem he has no control over and it affects a man greatly not to and to get hard and sustain it long enough for intercourse. be patient with him and teh most ithing to do is have GOOD COMMUNICATION. that is key talk about how you are felling and try different things..oral masturbation together.stc. hope thing do get better.

Carm416 02/22/2008

It's difficult not to think that ED has nothing to do with you. After all sex bonds couples together.

deleted_user 03/09/2008

Do a google search for "impotence, causes" and you'll get a long long list of things that have nothing to do with you.

deleted_user 03/15/2008

um... women can have the same problem. Hello, we have a part to play as well! And I never have trouble getting ready for my man, so I don't see why he can't be the same.

deleted_user 10/10/2008

Erectile Dysfunction (inability to sustain erection) is a very common disorder which most men face in there life at some stage for one reason or the other like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, fatigue, stress, physical injuries, smoking and alcohol consumption. The exact reason behind the problem can only be judged by a specialist and only then one should use the medicines prescribed. You can have the information on ED and ED related drugs on http://www.levitrabliss.com . Levitra is a FDA approved drug and is used to cure erectile dysfunction in male. This medicine helps in treating impotency and ED disorders in men suffering from risky medical conditions like high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. This is the reason why this medicine is being preferred over other impotency medicines.
So just ask him to consult a specialist, get to the root of the cause and have the medication prescribed and surely he can get over his problem. Best Luck.

deleted_user 10/12/2008

It is unlikely you are the cause. I am assuming he is not abusing alcohol or street drugs. It could be anyting from lack of testosterone to worrying about something. I suggest a trip to a doctor for a full physical including a blood workup. If there are no physical problems, the next stop would be a sex therapist.

deleted_user 10/12/2008

Psychological just slow down and don't make him feel bad. Have him get his mind off himself and focus on you such oral sex etc.

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bobinmaine 05/05/2009

There is alot of good advice above this. Stress at having to keep an erection will doom it's failure. How do you talk to your man? Do you speak with anger in your voice or with empathy? You need alot of patience when dealing with this problem and if it is not a mental one then there is medicine out there that will help but then he will have to see a doctor. Good luck!

cyn70 05/27/2009

I feel you. I am in the same boat. I thought he must be tired of me, I am fat, unattractive, we have been together for twenty yrs(high school sweethearts)is that why? I blamed me. It started from a quick shot to nothing at all. I became frustrated, always getting started an never finishing....brutal.

I agree with bobinmaine. I thought communication was the key so I started speaking about what I felt about the whole thing. MY IDEA OF COMMUNICATION was shooting daggers at his ego. I would speak out of emotion and became sarcastic at times, even mean. His problem wasn't medical( I knew why he was having problems). HE began to make excuses to get not to have sex(too tired, etc...)It was nonexistent. The best part of being married was the sex and I became celibate.

I changed. when he would lose it during sex I wouldn't get upset or ask many why questions. He began to down himself I have to stop it, because mental is very important when keeping an erection. I would tell him to keep going it will come back and it usually does. He has told me over and over it isn't me, it just wont work and I decided to believe him. Things have improved.

Change the way you react to it. Think it but don't say it when you can. And if it continues he needs to see a doc.

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