First thing I would do is to go to a doctor and get a complete physical. Then work with a doc and/or a therapist to determine why.

My problem is that it doesn't make sense that it could be anything physical.

In all other respects my body feels exactly the same as it always has. This is why I think it has to be psychological.

I did have problems with low sperm count as well as weak sperm, which was why it took us some time to conceive but as far as I am aware there is no connection with this and erectile dysfunction.

The other reason I think it is psychological is that I had problems with ED even before marriage and I am not aware that there can be physical causes for ED in young men.

I am not getting ay you personally Crusty but I am tired of this kneejerk reaction that it is most likely to be a medical/physical problem.

It seems to me that it would be much more likely that it is a psychological or relationship problem.

If ED were that common as a physical/medical problem, the human race would have died out long before now.

You say that it might be intimacy issues with your wife. Is this recent or have you always had intimacy issues? If you are horny and you still can't jack off, it sounds like there is more going on then intimacy issues. Do you still wake up with morning wood? Do you get involuntary erections during the day? how old are you? I stopped getting morning wood in my mid fifties. Could be a lot of things going on. Try a vibrator when you are jacking off.

I do not think I have had involuntary errections for a long time and occasionally I wake up with morning wood but it is rare.

With regard to intimacy with my wife, when I first started having a relationship with my now wife before we got married it was mainly oral primarily because we didn't want to get her pregnant but also because of confidence related ED problems on my side.

Over time she helped me with confidence issues and when we first got married we were doing it 4 times a week.

The brakes came on when she was pregnant because there were complications in the first 4 months. Ever since then it has been slow with increasing ED events.

I have been doing some reading and I decided that the problem could possibly be a combination of:
1. Lack of exercise
2. Insufficient sleep
3. Stress
4. Not enough periods of intimacy

I also found out that the main reason for seeing the doctor and having the tests done is to check for the possibility of diabetes.

I think I am even more worried about the possibility that I may have diabetes than talking to a doctor about my ED problems but I guess it is better to know than not.

Sorry, I didn't realize you were a doctor and therefore had sound medical experience and diagnostic skills. And, by the way, I never said what you should or should not do anything. I only said what I would do, and it is in fact, what I did first. I see little downside to gettting a physical. I also noted that I would work with a doctor and a therapist to find out why. Which is also what I did.

Sorry crusty I am not a doctor but I do like to inform myself.

Just feels like my body or my brain is betraying me at least I am going to take a decision to do something.

I probably am not the brightest spark in the universe but as they say better late than never.

Sounds to my like this may be a physical thing. Mostly because you say you have had this problem for awhile now. Before you got married. IMO ED is both a physical and mental problem. I used to get a hard on just thinking about women. Now I can't even get one while jacking off. It is not the end of the world though. If you and your wife have intimate problem I would spend my energy working on that. You might just find that when you have that curred your ED may be gone also. You did not mention though if you are taking any meds.

No, no meds, I am coming to the conclusion you are right though brent, thanks.

Okay- If you are not getting any spontaneous erections *IT IS PHYSICAL*... the sooner you find out the better. My husband was having this problem and it turns out he has type 2 diabetes AND low testosterone. Both go hand in hand and GREATLY affect your sex drive and performance- they also affect the other parts of your life and can cause great damage to your health if not taken care of. Read my post in the Diabetes Type 2 group under "All men with type 2 read this!!!"... My husband is 27 years old, 6'1 and 170 pounds. Dont think just because you feel normal in all other areas that this could not apply to you. I wish we had found out years ago!

I guess the possibility that I could have diabetes is horrible to me.

My grandmother had diabetes at the end of her life and suffered from deretiorating vision the thought that this could happen to me terrifies me.

I am not sure I would be able to live with that because my sight is so important to me.

Well that is all the more reason to go get checked!!!!! Your grandmother may have had diabetes all her life- if she had been treated earlier her complications may not have happened. If you are diabetic and dont do anything about it you WILL have problems- if you go now and treat it you may NEVER see horrible side effects that could happen otherwise.

My grandmother died of cancer. They caught it too late. If they had caught it months earlier she might have lived. She didnt have that luxury b/c she had no symptoms.

YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS! GO GET CHECKED AND SAVE YOUR LIFE! You can even reverse type 2! If you dont do anything you have nobody to blame but yourself.

I can understand your being afraid of it being diabetes, but what you must realize is that the more a diabetic keeps sugar levels stable the longer it will be before any of those negative things will occur. You can't take care of things that you don't know about. Diabetes is in my family also. My grandfather had it & my mother has it. With ed there are several things that can cause it. SleepingBeauty is right. You need to see a doctor & rules those out first. It can be the first sign of heart disease or a thyroid problem. You seem to have an interest in sex itself which is a good sign that it probably isn't testosterone related, but having it checked to see if it is starting to get to a low point is good idea. All of these medical issues can cause other things that aren't good. I know it is a scarey thing to face a medical issue that seems bad, but finding out early is much better than waiting until the damage is done and cannot be reversed. Many men with these problems will not see a doctor for various reasons. Yes, it is an embarrasing thing to talk about, but your health is worth it. Some men find going to a female doctor is easier than going to a man for this. Whatever you find is most comfortable for you. Some take their wives with them to help give information that it is difficult for them to give &/or to help remember what the doctor said. If you go to a doctor who just wants to write a prescription for viagra or the like and doesn't test testosterone, thyroid, sugar, & cholesterol, then you have gone to someone who doesn't know how handle ed and you need to find a different doctor. Going to a GP is fine. You could also go to an urologist or endocrinologist. Finding a knowlegeable doctor is often the hardest part. We have been to three & I'm still not totally satisfied with any of them.

If you go and the physical reasons are ruled out, then seek counceling for you & your wife. It is better to rule out the physical problems first because they will continue to get worse as you are working on your relationship. I'm not saying to wait until after you see a doctor to work on the relationship, you can do both at the same time. I'm sure your wife would like the piece of mind in knowing that there is no underlying condition that is causing your problem.

Sorry that I have written a novel here for you, but in the past year I have learned way more about ed than I ever wanted to. Just so you will know, most ed problems are physical as opposed to mental. There are many different ways of dealing with it also. I will be glad to talk to you about any aspect of it that you would like. Feel free to message me. Please take care of yourself. Do it for you and your wife. :)

You know I had just got to the point where I was thinking, ok, no prolem I can talk about my sexual issues.

But this diabeties possibility worries me because I do not fancy the idea of being on some drugs for the rest of my life.

Would you rather take a pill everyday or shorten your life by decades? It is so ridiculous that you are scared of something that u have never even been tested for. If you dont want to go to the doctor just go buy a cheap blood glucose monitor. You can test it yourself at home.

Between me and my H I would have NEVER guessed he would be the diabetic. I am the one who has been overweight most of my life and diabetes runs in my family. I tested mine and I am not diabetic at all. I keep testing it thinking I will get a different reading- but i dont. Just rule it out and then its a weight off your shoulders.

ED is an issue that can cause major relationship problems. When my H didnt want to go to the doctor to get checked out it made me feel like he didnt view me and us as important enough to get through a little embarrassment or fear of the unknown. It really made me feel worthless and unattractive and made me doubt his love for me. Think about that. Do you want to make your wife feel that way? Are you so afraid that you will risk your marriage's health and yours just to never know if you are diabetic? If you arent you will feel free- If you are you will save your wife from possibly being widowed decades before she should be. Just go test it. Quit being a baby and be a man- take care of yourself because you have a responsibility to yourself and your wife to do this.