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The percentage of recovery?


I was pretty good the last few weeks. HOCD was still there but much much less than before.

Now I have a question, whether a person who has HOCD can be completely rid of all doubts and all the symptoms?

I am taking citalopram 5 months now. I can say that my symptoms are better by about 50-70%. Obsessive thoughts are less likely (although still there), Spikes rarely come, reduce anxiety, doubt less (but still there).
My dreams of a little repair (in the hocd beginning I was constantly dreaming disgusting gay stuff, that I scream and I run away from females gay person, and I dreamed that the gay people want to catch me, and I run away from them and scream that it is disgusting, and that I want my boyfriend, and I dreamed that I was very scared in the dream). Now as for me such dreams are reduced ( not comletely , but it is reduced). Now I dream of men, thank God. So, my HOCD is better, as I said 50-70%.

But I want a full free of all doubts and of all hocd simtoms, and I want to be like before hocd began..

So, is it possible to be 100% free of all hocd symptoms ?

How your medications are working, and whether you're 100% as before, without any doubt and any thoughts? Or is your improvement is also a certain percentage, but still not 100%?



I believe you can not be 100% cured because of the simple fact OCD is chronic; it will always be there.
It's just how you handle it. Can you learn the skills to laugh it off and say "maybe" or freak out and try to get away? The latter leads only to pain.
So yeah, you can feel 100% better- like those days you feel when you have great clarity. But it's how you handle that thought that pops up then and again that counts.


I know that OCD is a chronic disease. I know this from experience. My question was - is it possible to be 100% free of HOCD? No of OCD in general, rather than just the hocd.( as OCD theme)

Because in the past I have had harm OCD and solipism OCD, and many other fears. But with treatment, this OCD themes and doubts are gone forever, and I have no more symptoms with regard to these past issues.

So I thought for HOCD. Is it possible that the doubts and thoughts concerning specific HOCD go forever?
I mean, the recovery in the sense of being as before. This means that before-I never had any homosexual thoughts, scene .. or anything gay in my head, I've never had a doubt about my sexuality.

I know that OCD with us forever. But there are periods of full recovery (at least for me).

Bdon, how much percentage you can tell that your HOCD better? Do you still have any doubt, any spike and any HOCD thoughts?

I do think so. I think you can feel how you feel on your good days about HOCD everyday.

I feel about 80% through it. It's a little shaky these last two days, but overall I'm feeling stronger and less needing to be "in control". What about you?

I also feel a lot better than the hocd beginning. No more crying, no more so long compulsive activities (yes, I've had a lot of compulsive rituals, such as uttering certain sentences, phrases (it is still present), but disappeared rituals such as not to stop at a certain place in house (because it means that you accept this disgusting hocd thought-it's madness, I now see it), I also had some rituals which are greatly reduced, and some of them are comletely disappeared, much much less spend time reading hocd .. posts - so here I see a lot of improvements.

Thoughts - Well, thoughts are still there but much much much much smaller and weaker than before. Now do you think I can much more easily ignored. Sometimes I catch the anxiety, but it goes faster than before. Spike come less frequently than before (sometimes they come but I shake them breakthrough faster than before). - Well, here the situation improved a lot.

Doubt-less doubt, but they are still here. I want to get rid of doubts forever. That's the thing. I want to be like before all this, before hocd thoughts. I want to be free from all doubts, as I was before. I want to disappear completely and forever all gay thoughts, I wish that all doubts are gone, I want to disappear all rituals.

We sound like we're in the same boat!!!
I feel I am in everything you're in!!

Honestly, I've heard that saying that you want to always be free is living a fantasy. And living a fantasy isn't being in reality. You need to accept that you Might never be free, that OCD is chronic and you might have to fight them off all the time. But you could still be happy and secure.
More than likely, when you gain this ability of heightened acceptance you don't worry so much.

I hope that HOCD go away from us.

Honestly, I think that the worst opsession is sexual obsession. For me it is much worse, this obsession (HOCD) than the last. I mean, with harm OCD I have also had a terribly difficult days. I was totally desperate , but it seems to me that I somehow pulled quickly from it all. Perhaps because I am exactly at this difficult OCD time met and fell in love with my current boyfriend. Maybe it helped because i was more focus on thinking about him( i was thinking about him 24/7), and they harm OCD thought quickly disappeared. I remember that these thoughts and all of that lasted about a year. And then it was gone. And now reappeared OCD. And I was free from OCD phase nearly two years. I mean, sometimes they are here and there (in those two years) were briefly appeared intrusive thoughts that lasted a few days and disappeared.

But HOCD is in my opinion the worst OCD issue in the world.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't.
I like to think about it like being hot or cold. When you're too hot you think being too cold could NEVER be as bad as being too hot! But when you're too cold you feel it is absolutely the WORST compared to being really hot. So what I'm saying is it's whatever you're experiencing at the moment is what hurts the most. Having ROCD and morbid jealousy (which absolutely WRECKS my self-esteem and confidence) I think that it's worse when I have it as opposed to HOCD. And vice-versa.

I think it's a good thing not to demonize H-OCD so much as in Not doing so you realize it's not so bad. It's obnoxious, but it's not so bad.

you probably have right when you say that thing/OCD theme or whatever hard you experiencing at the moment is what hurts the most.

In HOCD exist just one positive thing. This thing is - if you have HOCD you know that you are completely heterosexual. You understand me, right. Because OCD themes are exact opposite of our true character. Dr. Steven Philipson told me in mail- chances that OCD theme coming true is the same as risk that someone getting aids for door knob.

You see my friend , and it is completely impossible that someone getting aids from door knob.

I wouldn't say it is impossible.... but I'd say VERY unlikely.
Wow, you got a an e-mail from Dr. Philipson?? HOW?!

I feel the more I accept and am not bothered by thought of becoming gay the less it has power over me. Same for you?

no Bdon, not Very unlikely. its completely impossible getting aids from door knob, because virus can not live in the air. Even if the hiv positive person put his infected blood on the door knob- its completely IMPOSSIBLE that you getting aids. Because virus die in the air in one second. This mean- it is impossible to getting aids from that way. Dr. Philipson really was give perfect sentence from this.

Im send e mail from Dr. Philipson, and he is answer my questions very quickly .

For me , i accept that i have hocd and i accept that this disgusting gay thoughts is here, in my head because i have disorder. These thoughts still bother me but i trying ignore them. it so hard for me, but i can shake this thoughts little easier than before. HOCD yet have power over me,unfortunately. But less then before. It is slow, but going to a better.

Oh course, it's true, but let's say someone placed blood on the doorknob and you touch it with an open wound? What I was saying is that it's not IMpossible, it's just probably never going to happen. But to accept the uncertainty you have to know it MIGHT happen and that's fine. But at the moment it is not happening so who gives a **** what happens in the future. You know what I mean? At least for me this strategy works!

REALLY? I'm trying it. How do you e-mail him?

It's good to here you're making progress. And about me? Guess what? I'm gay! :D

Really you are gay. Actually, I saw immediately from your posts that you're gay. I knew immediately, I just did not want to say that you sound like a gay.

hahaha (now you are certainly scared, it was a joke of course. I had a joke back in the same way.: P)

Now seriously

Frankly it would not be surprising that you're gay (or any man), because men are so so so hot. ((Hocd before the start) I said once in the past - when I'd be a man, I would certainly be a gay because men are so hot.

About Dr. Philipson mail:
You go in ocdonline page, and there have a link contact Dr. Philipson. There has mail address and all. And that's it.
dr. Philipson and I are almost buddies: P. This is the fifth-mail in which he answers the questions:).

P.S. it is impossible to get AIDS, even so with an open wound. It is simply impossible. Because the virus dies immediately in contact with air. And if the blood comes to door knob means that in the air - and that blood is not infected because the virus is dead. Even if you have an open wound that you put on the door knob, you would not get AIDS because the blood is not infected because the virus is dead.

I am so angry right now because I went to the neurotic planet forum to see what people write hocd (I have not long been on these forums). And again, Jesus Christ, there there are so many idiots that it's not normal. Actually I am stupid they even go read someone else's post there. Again an idiot, nerd wrote and described the disgusting things that have caused spike! Jesus Christ, I really can not believe that so many retarded people on hocd forum-it's unbelievable. Do these people have no idea what causes the spikes for other sufferers. I can not believe it! Some retarded idiot on this forum mentioned a gay woman (phew) and described some disgusting disgusting scene. , My God, I will vomit from these scenes, and of these disgusting gay females! phew!! This is not normal. Now hocd creates tricks for me!

Thank you God because Im straight.
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