IT WILL BE 8 YEARS ON THE 22nd OF NOVEMBER SINCE I WAS DIAGNOSED AS BEING HIV+I THOUGHT ON THAT DAY THAT WAS THE END,MY WORLD HAD FELL IN I WAS GOING TO DIE.FOR 2 YEARS I THOUGHT THIS WAY TRYING TO KID ON IT WASNT THERE,I WOULDNT TAKE MY MEDS CAUSE IF I WASNT TAKING THEM IT MEANT THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME [EVEN THOUGH I WAS GETTING SICKER]AND I WAS TRYING TO PUSH EVERYONE I LOVED AND THAT WAS CLOSE TO ME OUT OF MY LIFE,[THANKFULLY THEY STUCK BY ME]I WAS FULL OF ANGER,HATE,SELF-LOATHING AND MOST OF ALL FEAR I JUST DIDNT KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH BEIING POSITIVE...THEN SUDDENLY I REALISED I WAS ALLOWING THIS HIV TO DICTATE TO ME AND RULE MY LIFE.....WELL NO MORE I THOUGHT AND I STARTED TAKING THE HELP THAT WAS AVAILBLE I WENT ON MEDS AND MY HEALTH STARTED IMPROVING MY CD4 IS ABOUT 650 AND VIRAL LOAD IS NEARLY UNDETECTABLE NOW,I STARTED TALKING TO MY COUNCILOR ABOUT HOW I WAS REALLY FEELING.AND MOST OF ALL I STARTED LOVING MY LOVED ONES AGAIN....AND THROUGH WANTING TO GET BETTER ITS MEANT I CAN PUT BEING POSITIVE INTO POSITIVE THINKING AND ACTIONS,IVE BEEN ABLE TO GO INTO COLLEGES AND TALK TO TEENS AND OLDER PEOPLE ABOUT ME LIVING WITH HIV AND IF IVE GOT THROUGH TO ONE PERSON IN A TALK ITS BEEN WORTHWHILE...SO ANYONE OUT THERE NEWLY DIAGNOSED OR WHO IS STRUGGLING TO COME TO TERMS I HOPE THIS HELPS IN SOME WAY.MY LIFE ISNT PERFECT BY ANY MEANS I STILL GET SCARED SOME DAYS [BUT WHO DOESNT]THE MAIN THING IS HIV DOESNT DICTATE HOW I THINK AND LIVE ANYMORE.TAKE CARE