HIV Support Group
HIV (also known as human immunodeficiency virus, and formerly known as HTLV-III and lymphadenopathy-associated virus) is a retrovirus that primarily infects vital components of the human immune system which can lead the syndrome known as AIDS. Many of the problems faced by people infected with HIV result from failure of the immune system to protect from opportunistic...
My theory of sexuality
Was I born gay, have I thought about being straight or did I choose to be gay? (a ?posted by Essene of gay )
I dont know; if I was born gay, straight or bisexual and not sure if Im choosing to be gay (maybe just a little). Ill explain later. I think the reason people are who they are as adults, comes from their early childhood experiences which have a lot to do with who we are later in our lives. Our childhood affects all aspects of our adult lives.
My life was not what Id call normal or what I consider to be normal. Anyway; I read somewhere in a study that the youngest boy of brothers usually grows up to be gay. I really couldnt tell you if thats true or not; but, I can tell you this; Im the youngest of ten kids, five boys and five girls. Out of the five sisters three them are gay, so if you can imagine this life of a young baby that was thrown into this wildly unstable life. Where, the father is in prison for murdering his wife. So his brothers and sisters; raised him from the age of one, when his mother died.
Well Ill get back to that story later; I would like to look at Human birth. When were born we are able to see, listen, feel and taste, but we are unable to speak. This is where Ill start at; I believe that because we posses all our senses accept that speech. We have to as infant use these tools to process the information (information equals knowledge) that is in our environment. However without the use of words, we are left to relay on our heart/feelings for the answers of the unheard questions. What does this have to do with being gay? Good question and I hope I can help shine some light on this subject, not just for you, but also for myself. I believe that for me its a little of all the reasons for being gay/bisexual.
The thing I would like to mention is that we as an embryo were all both sexes (male & female). I read this Italian study called the G-factor the focuses of it was on the levels of male and female hormone. The study basically said that men with higher levels of estragon showed more of the women characteristics and the same for women with higher testosterone levels. This is why some men have thunder thighs or were more emotional and why some women have wide shoulders and more facial hair then others with less male hormone. Then I thought if it affects the physical traits, why would it not also affect the gene for sexual attraction. The book I read the info on the g-factor is in a book called Who are you: 101 ways of seeing yourself by Malcolm Godwin. I believe its a self help book, not sure. This might account for some peoples sexuality, maybe its true.
Now Ill go a little farther in the evolution phases of our growing cycle to infancy where the mind is a little more capable of learning from his/her surroundings. Which is bewildering at any age; now this leaves us with unheard questions and those unanswered questions leads to assumptions (even at that age). What, assumptions am I speaking of? Well for me as an infant I witnessed my brothers and sisters lives, plus all their friends lives. With the eyes taking the place of words we process the information around us and that information is attached to a feeling (of the many emotions/feeling).
With just my eyes and hearts (emotions) feelings; I saw my brothers and lesbian sisters with girlfriends. I also saw my sisters gay male friend with male boyfriends. The information that, I remember from being an unheard witness; was that in all three sets of couples there was LOVE as the one common factor. This led me to my own idea about relationships; that as long as you have someone to love, cherish, respect you as well as you them in the relationship. Then why is it wrong, the books of many Religions, also share one common factor and that is again to love one another.
Now, with all that said; was I born gay, have I thought about being straight or did I choose to be gay? The being born gay cant answer that one. Have I thought about going back to being straight? Thought about it, but its too late for that being HIV positive not really a feasible option. To me being LOVED is what I look for not male or female, just LOVED. I think that when you love someone nothing is nasty if I love them there is not a place on their body that my lips would not touch, because I love them, maybe the reason for that is because I didnt get the love I needed as a child so I look for it as an adult. Where it comes from is irrelevant to me. So now Im sticking to being gay, because its easier for a gay man to love me even though Im HIV positive and I dont think it would be that easy for a woman to love me in this condition.
Vino Garcia, 2008
Was I born gay, have I thought about being straight or did I choose to be gay? (a ?posted by Essene of gay )
I dont know; if I was born gay, straight or bisexual and not sure if Im choosing to be gay (maybe just a little). Ill explain later. I think the reason people are who they are as adults, comes from their early childhood experiences which have a lot to do with who we are later in our lives. Our childhood affects all aspects of our adult lives.
My life was not what Id call normal or what I consider to be normal. Anyway; I read somewhere in a study that the youngest boy of brothers usually grows up to be gay. I really couldnt tell you if thats true or not; but, I can tell you this; Im the youngest of ten kids, five boys and five girls. Out of the five sisters three them are gay, so if you can imagine this life of a young baby that was thrown into this wildly unstable life. Where, the father is in prison for murdering his wife. So his brothers and sisters; raised him from the age of one, when his mother died.
Well Ill get back to that story later; I would like to look at Human birth. When were born we are able to see, listen, feel and taste, but we are unable to speak. This is where Ill start at; I believe that because we posses all our senses accept that speech. We have to as infant use these tools to process the information (information equals knowledge) that is in our environment. However without the use of words, we are left to relay on our heart/feelings for the answers of the unheard questions. What does this have to do with being gay? Good question and I hope I can help shine some light on this subject, not just for you, but also for myself. I believe that for me its a little of all the reasons for being gay/bisexual.
The thing I would like to mention is that we as an embryo were all both sexes (male & female). I read this Italian study called the G-factor the focuses of it was on the levels of male and female hormone. The study basically said that men with higher levels of estragon showed more of the women characteristics and the same for women with higher testosterone levels. This is why some men have thunder thighs or were more emotional and why some women have wide shoulders and more facial hair then others with less male hormone. Then I thought if it affects the physical traits, why would it not also affect the gene for sexual attraction. The book I read the info on the g-factor is in a book called Who are you: 101 ways of seeing yourself by Malcolm Godwin. I believe its a self help book, not sure. This might account for some peoples sexuality, maybe its true.
Now Ill go a little farther in the evolution phases of our growing cycle to infancy where the mind is a little more capable of learning from his/her surroundings. Which is bewildering at any age; now this leaves us with unheard questions and those unanswered questions leads to assumptions (even at that age). What, assumptions am I speaking of? Well for me as an infant I witnessed my brothers and sisters lives, plus all their friends lives. With the eyes taking the place of words we process the information around us and that information is attached to a feeling (of the many emotions/feeling).
With just my eyes and hearts (emotions) feelings; I saw my brothers and lesbian sisters with girlfriends. I also saw my sisters gay male friend with male boyfriends. The information that, I remember from being an unheard witness; was that in all three sets of couples there was LOVE as the one common factor. This led me to my own idea about relationships; that as long as you have someone to love, cherish, respect you as well as you them in the relationship. Then why is it wrong, the books of many Religions, also share one common factor and that is again to love one another.
Now, with all that said; was I born gay, have I thought about being straight or did I choose to be gay? The being born gay cant answer that one. Have I thought about going back to being straight? Thought about it, but its too late for that being HIV positive not really a feasible option. To me being LOVED is what I look for not male or female, just LOVED. I think that when you love someone nothing is nasty if I love them there is not a place on their body that my lips would not touch, because I love them, maybe the reason for that is because I didnt get the love I needed as a child so I look for it as an adult. Where it comes from is irrelevant to me. So now Im sticking to being gay, because its easier for a gay man to love me even though Im HIV positive and I dont think it would be that easy for a woman to love me in this condition.
Vino Garcia, 2008
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I think that early childhood can deeply affect our capacity to love. Its a very confusing time for everyone and I hope if I have children that they have an easier time than what I did (violins, please!)
Vino, as usual I thought you posted an interesting topic - but I really disagree that its easier for a man to love you because of HIV. Maybe theres an element of truth because gay men are more informed about HIV but I have been shocked by how well my dating/disclosing has gone. I always thought that I would have to accept the fact that girls would not want to date me with HIV but that was just a stereotype I had made in my head.
Give someone the information they need to understand HIV, it doesnt matter what sex thay are, if they dont have the capacity to deal with that then that is down to them as a person.
In terms of "easier" to love by a man or woman if your positive, that's also unpredictable I believe. Some gay men are discriminatory towards HIV positive gay men(I have personally experienced this)and some women are petrified of positive people too( I have experienced that too). On the other hand, the people that knew me already both straight and gay, had no problems what so ever. If you already have established an emotional connection with someone, it makes it so much easier. Also a person who has been educated better about HIV makes it easier then there are those who like you for you and those people are like diamonds in a desert.
I just disclosed v recently to a great girl, although she wasnt very educated about it she listened and asked a few questions, then took it in her hands to educate herself. She's def a diamond!