It is important to tell your soulmate but unfortunately it is also hard. Tell your soulmate of your situation and give him a chance to go and think about it whatever decision he will come up with whether positive or negative you just have to take it. Your heart will be free that you have atleast told him

hey there,
me again, taoe.


in my case it was the soulmate who GAVE ME hiv. (we realise now today that there is alot of doubt as to wether aids is even sexually transmitted at all, but that's a very controversial subject, and you have other things on your mind)

in my case, all the anger resentment and rage that came with our dual diagnosis, as well as dealing with the guilt and rage of one of us infecting the other, i have to say, by the time the partner passed away, (he died of drugs for hiv by the way, not from any disease in his blood, the aids meds killed him, yet i refused the aids drugs, i am alive and well)....
in any event, we buried our resentments with him, and boy am i glad we did, i would hate to have sent him off to the great beyond, full of guilt, only to learn years later like i have, that half the crap they tell us about hiv is bullshit, pure and simple twisted science, bad media coverage, and terrible terrible politics.

in any event, we learned that soulmates concern themselves with souls, not bodies. what an opportunity we found, to test that belief we had, about being soulmates. our friends always mocked us for saying we were soul-mated, and that we'd had pastlives, or concurrent lives together, and that we were 'meant to be'...
they doubted and mocked, until they saw us devour this hiv thing into a non issue.

imagine, 1993, way before ANY promise of meds that could do us any good, when we were both still considered as good as dead, and yet we managed to get thru it all, and resolve it all.

they dont laugh so hard now, at the concept of us as soul brothers.

ya see what im saying?

and maybe before ya do chit chat with this partner of yours, speak with someone who has been thru something similar.

direct email, you can call me. im at phillyreikimaster@hotmail.com

cheers...
nothing is as bad as it seems, what if you worrry yourself sick, only to find out your partner is completely fine with having an hiv poz partner.

my partner today is like that, and he's been thru this in his past, he lost a lover in 96 from hiv meds. (another case where they guy died from the drugs, not the disease. gee, is there a pattern in that?)...

there is no reason for hiv to end your love life. it may end your lovelife with people of simple mindedness who dont want to take the time and energy, the CARE to learn... but it shouldnt get in the way between to intelligent honest independant, responsible people who share real and enduring emotions, from a healthy, union-oriented foundation.

: )

there is also the possibility of telling your mate youve tested positive, but the doctor wants you to get a second test to be sure you didnt test "false positive" which by the way, little would any DOCTOR tell you, happens VERY VERY COMMONLY.

bottom line, if he told you that you had a brain tumor, would you want a second set of x-rays?

to approach 'disclosure' this way, INCLUDES YOUR PARTNER in the dreaded anxiety of finding out the conclusive second test results, reveals you as a person who isnt loony enough to FAIL to get a second opinion in such a serious manner, and it also lets the partner know that you've included him/her in the process.

now he's gonna find out you were told three months ago, and be angry you didnt speak out the moment you heard about it, and yet, that is very understandable, both for you to hesitate, freek out for a spell, and then of course its just as natural for the partner to resent that.

i will tell you that after seeing hiv for all these years do what it has to relationships, it is wise to understand that it is very possible the relationship will end, and often enough, people will use the fact that you didnt tell them, IMMEDIATELY, as grounds for leaving.

you must be prepared for any reaction of course, and since the reaction is not predictable, anxiety is normal on your part. at the same time, the only thing more awful than a bad outcome, would be a good outcome based on failure to disclose.
not to mention that having unprotected sex with a partner in pennsylvania without telling them, is legally considered attempted murder. there are people in prison for this.

now, that said, there are many approaches you can take to telling this person what they ultimately have a right to know.

i found the best guide is to be honest with yourself, and realise how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, would you want to know, how would you want to find out, how would you want the person to present this kind of information, and by all means, do not let yourself to be abused, mishandled, disrespected, criticised or degraded, for after all is said or done, they dont know WHAT causes aids, the tests are questionable at best (and in time you will read the vast information that expresses both sides of this controversy)...

what if you find out yr partner is fine with it all, and is very supportive?

: )
(i posted a pic of the kitty on my page here at dailystrength)

and we're forming a philadelphia healing circle if you might be interested in that.

I can see how hard this MUST BE for you.....

Ive just recently met a guy (only on line) and we share so much in common we are really attracted to each other too.....hes 25 and im 28, One night in conversation on line he was on his web cam talking to me and he just came out with it, he told me he was hiv, it was a big shock But i didnt faulter on him! I really respect his honestly and maybe ive walked straight into this with my eyes closed ( i dont know?) But it hasnt chnaged a single thing for me! I really like this guy and i cant wait to go further with him (in every respect) i am HIV negative at present and i intend to stay this way. But it no way shape or form puts me off the guy so i say you should tell him! If he thinks anything of you he will support you! I am going to be there for this guy ive met even if we dont end up together i wish you luck freind xxx

I found out I was positive right before I met the guy I still feel I was meant to be with. I didn't tell him anything, but I wouldn't strip down any further than my underwear when I slept with him and we never had sex. After a few months of this, of course he began to believe I didn't really care for him.
I finally told him all about 4 years later, but there had been so much hiding by that time I don't think we could have ever patched it up.
If you want it to work with him, tell him right away. A relationship that isn't honest isn't worth having.

in answer to your question of How do you tell....the same way you have done here. You set the fear aside and just tell...