Give yourself some time. Try not to think of yourself as someone with HIV but rather as a sexy, vibrant woman.

Allow your mate to compliment you. Make him desire you. Parade around in skimpy gear so that he lusts after you. Forget all the HIV crap and just allow yourself to BE.

When I found out about my HIV my husband tested negative. Our sex life was impacted GREATLY! In fact, we became so distant sexually and intimately that we eventually divorced. I remarried my husband 5 years ago and HIV really does not play a part in our sexual relationship anymore, other than the fact that we use condoms. He finally saw the Light!

Give yourself time and do whatever it takes to allow yourself to feel sexy and vibrant again. Turn that neon HIV+ sign blinking in your head, off for the night.

BE WELL.

Oh my, how your words have touched me. I have been looking for answers and some things you touched on really should help. Thanks

you must understand that we've all been thru this, you must understand that your own internal relationship with your OWN body, is in flux now. you must understand that there is a huge shift going on in your own feelings about being in a body.

this is all normal. after 25 years of seeing people go thru this, my own personal opinion, it can take from months to a year or two before we revert back to our charming sexy selves again.

ive seen people get diagnosed and within a few weeks, return totheir normal selves, and ive seen people who have seen their sexuality change forever. some of those people, who change forever, change for the better,in their own opinion.

can i suggest you allow yourself to change naturally, allow yourself to be sexless for a spell, and dig into it, find out, and enjoy finding out what it is that is shifting and growing and changing within you.

youre not changing for nothing, and wether it is because you are developing a healthier outlook on sex itself, or purging some previous unhealthy viewpoint about sex itself, ,... either way, your sexual system, your sexual urges, your mental and emotional state are clearly telling you to take a break, or you wouldnt be having this problem.

if youre having this problem, perhaps this is what they mean when they say our bodies and minds and emotions have a funny way of communicating with us.

delve into the feelings and thoughts, but do so, with a neutral approach, by which i mean, dont assume something is necessarily wrong! in the end,i found out that my year or two of sexless living yielded some of the greatest growth ive been thru in my entire life.

sex is now better than ever, because my relationship with sex itself, and my relationship with my own body are now deeper than ever.

touch is essential to healthy living for our species. you can allow for touch without it necessarily being sexual. my lover and i often curl up in a ball and sleep, and this is every bit as rewarding as an all out, no holds-barred, drop down drag out sexfest!

now,ill be the first to say, cuddling is no substitute for true full sexual 'union', however, when youre going thru a window of time like you are now, perhaps this is the universe telling you that these things need to be addresses, SO THAT you can 'resume' your regularly scheduled sexiness.

dont TRY to have sex, or TRY to revive things, maybe experiment with ALLOWING the touch and sex, ALLOWING yourself, yr partner, and the union between you to call the shots for a spell...

and of course, know that we all go thru some of this to different levels.

: )

MISS CHIF,
you and yr man actually divorced over it, and then remarried five years later?

how hot is that, i LOVE IT!!

in the end, sex is about relationship. and relationship with self, as well as with partner.

we get so caught up in the tv version.

Yeah when I first was diagnosed, I felt the same way, I dint want to ever have sex again...But truth be told my sex life has been at its peak, and I have disclosed to everyone that I have sex with since finding out...not that Im a whore or anything, but I later found out that it was a normal reaction to finding out...