I really have no idea what to do with my life right now. I am 20 years old and here is my life story, no judgements and no accusations I am way over sensitive. :) I come from a broken home and when I would visit my birth mother there was a sheriff who used to molest me and tell me I was gay for several years, my mom worked with her son and no one would have ever believed me. Next time it happened I was 16 and was raped for 2 weeks straight while he had drugs at his disposure, he was a nurse, I was screwed. Then the third time I was in Oceanside California and raped by a Marine whom they have yet to catch. He did not use a condom and came inside of me. I shortly thereafter met the love of my life. (to go back a little) When I was 17 I enlisted in the United States Navy out of Tampa, Fl. and was stationed for bootcamp and school in Great Lakes, IL. from November of 04 - May of 05, then to 29 Palms, Ca from May of 05 till July of 05 then to Camp Pendleton, Ca from July of 05 until March of 06. I met the love of my life in the end of September (less than a month after my rape), we met ironically online and then he was HIV +. I fell in love with him way too easy, he is the best person I have ever met. I recently have found out I was HIV + and he took it harder than me. Hehas cried for the last couple weeks and I have barely showed any emotion, many tell me I am in the denial phase and unless I get with it I will go through the 5 phases and possibly end up committing suicide. I have been so rude no matter what he does and I dont know how to fix it, It is such small things I get mad over but I cant keep them in or Ill explode. I get so angry and need help. I have no friends and no one to talk to other than him and my case worker, I am sure I have already lost him which kills me inside but I want to get better and cannot deal with my problems. I need to find a way to cure myself. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia and OCD. They are our biggest problems because I cannot deal with them well, What do I do? Help me not lose my husband
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