School just started. I got to see some of my friends. My friends don't usually call me, and we don't hang out that often. I don't feel very close to them. This is totally different to my camp friends, who I miss dearly. Just chatting with them on aim makes me happy. I feel closer to them. I have two different friend versions of me. Camp friends and School friends. I can do crazy things with my camp friends, and we are more childlike. With school friends I act more like a teenager. I love my school friends, but i feel that i have to act differently with them. I don't feel like I can be totally myself with both sets of friends. Then there are my new school friends that I made the second day. I am quiet with them. They are all older than me (juniors and seniors) and most of them smoke. They also do some drugs. I have seen them do any drugs but they talk about it. John was the one who brought me into this group. He takes theater arts with me. He found out i am gay, so he asked if i would like to have lunch with them. One of the senoirs is a lesbian too. I'm not interested, I didn't get any sparks. I have been eating lunch with them since. We don't eat in the lunchroom, we walk to our "hide out" where they smoke and talk. I feel restricted with them, but they are nice. I don't know everyones name yet. One of the other guys takes another class with me. he sits next to me, but we don't talk all that much. We are both quiet, as far as i can tell. I have not smoked or done any drugs. I can't hang out with them after school, because my parents don't like it on school nights. They are really different from what i'm used to, but they actually try to get me to hang out with them. Unlike my other school friends who don't usually call me. I don't know what to do. I don't get to see many friends during school, because i take higher level or odd classes. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to my parents or teachers about it, because i do not rat out people (in some situations). I really want some advice or someone else's perspective. PLEASE!
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