High School Stress Support Group

This community is dedicated to many issues that can appear in high school, including relationships, academic issues, questions about college and future plans, pressure from friends or parents, or anything else you want to chat about. High school can be stressful and overwhelming. This is a safe place to say what's on your mind and find support.

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college

deleted_user
deleted_user
Where I go...that's supposed to be my decision, right?

But it's not. My parents won't let me. They're guilt-tripping me. I can't help that my dream school's far away...7 hours. It's not my fault.

My parents decided about a month ago that this would be the best school for me. Out of all of my choices, this one's positives definately outweighed the cons.

They think I only want to go the school because my boyfriend will be nearby. Not so. I can't help that my perfect school is near him. If it wasn't, I'd go there anyway. His being near is simply an added bonus.

They just want me to be near them. The school they want me to go to will cost the same as the school I want to go to, so why do they keep hammering about finances when it costs the same? Ugh. Actually, the school I want to go to would be more willing to give me financial aid because I am up to its standards, while I am below standards of their choice school.

They need to stop trying to make me feel bad. I feel bad enough as it is without having this on my shoulders. I don't need this. I just want to get on without them hammering me all the time. I want to be free. I want to make my own choices. And for once in my life, I want to ignore what they say and actually do what I want to do.

But they'll hate me. Forever.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe financially they are thinking more along the lines of getting you home for the holidays?
And have you tried rationally explaining why you would prefer to go to the school you want to over the school they want you to?
Try making a pro/con list for each school and keep an open mind.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you, but I did make a pro/con list. And about a month or so ago, they agreed with my choice...Now, they're acting as if I've betrayed them. The school they want me to go to, I haven't even found out if I got in yet, and they think I'm trying to sabatoge it. Ugh.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you could have your parents make a pro-con list as well if they are still against it. They might know things about the school that you don't that could really convince you that they DO know what they are talking about.

And also, your parents are probably helping you pay for the majority of your college education, so help them understand in a non-confrontational way why you want to go to the school you want to so bad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
maybe they want you to go to their choice of college because the college they have in mind has a better reputation. based on how u described that you were up to the standards at ur-choice college and below standards at their-choice college. this probably means that their-choice college is more prominent and..the distance seems to be also another decision factor..since they seem like the "clingy/protective" parents who want to have their child nearby. but a 7hr drive isn't too bad...at least they can DRIVE to you. try to emphasize that..and try to prove to your parents that this IS a good college..and it fits you more based on (standards..what the college has that matches your persona and experiences, etc). then u can use that to convince them that since its a good college, i wanted to go there and it just so happens to be near ur bf's college. i think they're just thinking "of all the good similar colleges, why did she pick THAT one which is close to her boyfriend..was that the deciding factor?"

anyways, good luck convincing them! =) i hope you all the best. =)
deleted_user
deleted_user
maddie, they loved my choice school, everything about it, until they decided it was too far away. and financially, i'm on my own for college, so in my eyes, since i'm paying, it should be my choice. but whatevs.

ksup, thank you, and i will agree that their school has a better name...soley because it is vanderbilt. i want to go to college of charleston. cofc is a very intelligent and artistic school, but since vanderbilt is such a high standing university, the name has more prestige, obviously. still don't know if i got in tho. ugh.

however, there is a public university near them that i have decided to attend...probably. it may not be my dream school, but if i go there, they'll shut up for once, and i won't be in terrible debt upon graduating. if i get into their choice school, i may attend...only if they obtain my debt since it's the school they want for me anyway. lol. i'm just so tired of fighting with the parentals. my mother already said she'd be disappointed in me if i went to cofc c, but you know something? i'm tired of trying so hard to please her. i do so much in hopes of making her happy, but she never really is. i'm tired of it. i'm done.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Or maybe you could look into going to the community / public college for a year or two and then finish up your education at the choice school. That way, you could have the degree from the school you really want and save yourself a lot of money.
deleted_user
deleted_user
my mom would be against a comm. college, but i'm just gonna go to a public school near her. that way, she'll shut up about the whole thing. ugh. i just hope she's happy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Even with a public school, you can transfer out after your first year or two to the college that you want and save a lot of money. And then your parents can't claim that you did it JUST for your boyfriend. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
haha, yeah. we'll see how it goes.
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