I just want to scream as loud as i can, i feel so hopeless. I love my child so much but hate him right now. How awful is that. He is now stealing money from me and his dad. I know it is the addiction doing this but why would you take from those who love you. I would really like to just slap the person that sells this awful drug to him. I know blaming others will not help i just cant seem to grasp how anybody would want to put this poison in their body. We are only 2yrs into this awful addiction, but it feels like a lifetime. My son feels bad when he sees me in despair but i cannot love him out of this addiction. He wants help but does not know how to go about it. He did get some suboxone (sp) but when that ran out he went back to the Herion. Sometimes he wants to talk with me about it and other times i am sure he would rather i just disappear. He refuses counseling and thinks he can kick this on his own. Which we all know he cannot. I just dont know what to do or where to go at this point. Seeing him in such turmoil breaks my heart. Sometimes death seems a better option for either one of us than this. I wish i could just make this all go away but wishfull thinking wont get me anywhere. Sorry about the rant i just cant take this anymore.
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