Ok so nearly 3 1/2 years clean people are going to tell me to ull myself together but here goes, for all you that know me you'll know that my health is not all that good at the moment i have yet another kidney infection caused by my cathater being in place this infection has invaded my body n i even have a blasted ear infection that is killing me, so i have an ear i could cut off i can hardly walk cause of kidney infection n i'm sick n tierd of having constant tubes shoved up me. In the middle of the night i was sat in my front room when out of the blue i became obsessed that if i had a small hit of heroin all the pain would be gone i fantasized about it, i planned it all down to the last t then i jumped on my hubby n cracked up. I felt ok but now he's out n it's killing me the want is terrible i feel like i'm cracking up. Went to the docs about the pain n the wonderful man gave me 100 df's how lovely. Life is so shit at the moment
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