Heroin Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Heroin is a highly addictive drug with severe withdrawal symptoms that can start as soon as hours after use of the drug stops. Withdrawal symptoms include extreme sweating and achiness, nausea, vomiting, cramping which causes "kicking," chills, and more. If you are struggling with a heroin addiction, there is help. Join the group and get support.
I posted this in my depression group and didnt get much help...Anybody got advice?
So on Monday I got in a HUGE fight with my brother . He thinks that i am living a \'heroin lifestyle\'...Really!?! I have never ever even thought about using that drug, let alone lived the lifestyle that gose along with it. But because my fiancee is a recovering addict apperently Im living the same lifestyle hes use too. He said that Ive \'sold\' myself into this lifestyle because I went to Naranon. Iam not the kind of person who will let someone else run their life. I gave my fiancee this one fuck-up. I will stick by him through this only once. I will accept the excuse that he relapseed because of his withdrawl from Methadone.(Notice I said accept* not believe**). And I will not tolerate this ever again. I will not allow my life to stop because of his problem. I know I will still be someone who loves him and supports him, but our relationship will be over. I know no one understands what Im dealing with right now (unless you are going through it too), and Its ok....I just fucking hate being judged by people, and Im sick and fucking tired of peoples ignorance. People who have addiction are still human even tho they have a disease. yes the disease has been fed by them, but it dosent mean they want to have it. You dont look at someone with lung cancer and say they deserve no understanding or pitty because they smoke do you? If everyone would stop and really think, I mean REALLy think about what it would be like to be in their shoes for a day, no one would ever judge someone again. It really hurts when people look down at you for just loving someone with an addiction. I love HIM not his addiction. I met him When he was on methadone treatment and off actual Heroin for three years. I fell in love with the beautiful person who he really is, not the monster he is when hes using. Love is hard enough without judgement from people who dont even know whats going on. Im tired of my brother making me feel like shit because he thinks he knows better...I was having such a good day yesterday and he completely dragged me down. Why would you do that to someone? Why would you call someone just to make them feel like shit, and say its because you care and are trying to help. My Mother who, in my opinion, is the smartest person on the face of the earth, told me that no one can make you feel anyway you dont let yourself feel. She\'s the only person who has been understanding and supportive druing all this. She tells it to me straight and has no problem yelling at me if I need it. So why did she have to have a stupid son who\'s such an ass!?! Im lucky I have her...shes really the only person Ive talked to who really cares about me being ok through this. Im just tired of feeling like shit...Its been such a bad week and I felt like I was doing so well through it and now its like Im back to square one...My fiancee will be out of rehab this Friday, At least i have that to look foward too...
So on Monday I got in a HUGE fight with my brother . He thinks that i am living a \'heroin lifestyle\'...Really!?! I have never ever even thought about using that drug, let alone lived the lifestyle that gose along with it. But because my fiancee is a recovering addict apperently Im living the same lifestyle hes use too. He said that Ive \'sold\' myself into this lifestyle because I went to Naranon. Iam not the kind of person who will let someone else run their life. I gave my fiancee this one fuck-up. I will stick by him through this only once. I will accept the excuse that he relapseed because of his withdrawl from Methadone.(Notice I said accept* not believe**). And I will not tolerate this ever again. I will not allow my life to stop because of his problem. I know I will still be someone who loves him and supports him, but our relationship will be over. I know no one understands what Im dealing with right now (unless you are going through it too), and Its ok....I just fucking hate being judged by people, and Im sick and fucking tired of peoples ignorance. People who have addiction are still human even tho they have a disease. yes the disease has been fed by them, but it dosent mean they want to have it. You dont look at someone with lung cancer and say they deserve no understanding or pitty because they smoke do you? If everyone would stop and really think, I mean REALLy think about what it would be like to be in their shoes for a day, no one would ever judge someone again. It really hurts when people look down at you for just loving someone with an addiction. I love HIM not his addiction. I met him When he was on methadone treatment and off actual Heroin for three years. I fell in love with the beautiful person who he really is, not the monster he is when hes using. Love is hard enough without judgement from people who dont even know whats going on. Im tired of my brother making me feel like shit because he thinks he knows better...I was having such a good day yesterday and he completely dragged me down. Why would you do that to someone? Why would you call someone just to make them feel like shit, and say its because you care and are trying to help. My Mother who, in my opinion, is the smartest person on the face of the earth, told me that no one can make you feel anyway you dont let yourself feel. She\'s the only person who has been understanding and supportive druing all this. She tells it to me straight and has no problem yelling at me if I need it. So why did she have to have a stupid son who\'s such an ass!?! Im lucky I have her...shes really the only person Ive talked to who really cares about me being ok through this. Im just tired of feeling like shit...Its been such a bad week and I felt like I was doing so well through it and now its like Im back to square one...My fiancee will be out of rehab this Friday, At least i have that to look foward too...
deleted_user
I hope that things will go well for you with your fiance\'s addiction. I don\'t recommend staying with him though if he has anymore set-backs. I have been through many years (30) of trying to have faith in my man, only to have my heart broken over and over again. It is very hard to support an addict and in my case i live in the middle of no-where and feel rather isolated with very few options. I love my husband very much but i need to realize that this disease will never go away, he will always be an addict, practicing or not. Good luck and best wishes to you for a good life, listen to your mother, she is right and you are very lucky to have her. I have had no one to talk to about these issues.CJB51
deleted_user
as a recovered addict.. someone once told me there is no such thing as "recovery" with heroin.. its one of those drugs where no matter how well you're doing you will always have set backs, there will always be moments where the simplest things (something small going wrong, or maybe ur watching t.v. and you see something you dont necessarily associate with heroin but your subconcious does) and you can suddenly almost smell and taste heroin and you end up missing it.. it takes alot of will power to tell yourself you're better off with out.. i've been struggling big time lately.. been sober for 8 months but i constantly think about if i'm not surrounded by family and doctors and people who "care" would i still be sober right now? i dont want to discourage you or your fiance.. sounds like he's on the right track and you're doing the right thing sticking by him at the moment, and in a way it's not fair for you to say you'd leave him if he relapses again because he probably can't help it, but it's also not fair for you to stay in this sort of relationship.. i too went thru something some-what similar (being in a relationship wth a heroin addict) which is how i kind of got addicted.. i can understand you're brother's concern because i never would have imagined myself waking up one day in an emergency room fighting for my life.. perhaps his approach is wrong though.. anyways i hope i've been of assistance
deleted_user
I just want everyone to realize that this isnt the first relapse or treatment my fiancee has been through. This is 6 rehab stays and far too many relapses to count. I havent been here for all of them and I really dont think I could bear to go through anymore. The other day my fiancee and I talked about it and he completely understands why I would leave if he relapses again. In a twisted sort of way he wants me to leave if that happens...Im seeing the progress and change in him and I dont want to go. He actually has no ill will towards my brother for his harsh words....something that really surprises me. The old Steve wouldnt have been that forgiving. I do think that there can be true complete recovery from any addiction. Some maybe harder then others to over come but I know its possible. I have faith that through God we can do anything and for the first time last night I heard my fiancee say that at a NA meeting. People can change...its just painful sometimes..
deleted_user
I agree and disagree. I do see how one could say that you never truly recover. I used to be a meth addict and dont even like intervention shows because it makes me think about the feelings i had when i was high and the rushof using. heroin i have been told is the hardest to kick. its tricky to the the girlfriend of an addict. my boyfriend is a heroin addict and is currently in jail sobering up after a massive relapse that turned into a full blown habbit again. there is a fine line between being there for someone and being stupid. i do not think bailing on him is the best idea, for some reason i think that they need love (addicts) or else they might be moe likely to explode. however, you dont have to be there in everway to be there for him. protect youself. I my bf to death and want to do everything possible to help in any way i can, however, if i keep letting him screw up and run back without doing anything, what is he really losing when he relapses? its takes different rock bottoms i believe to get over any addiction, maybe losing you is what it would take to realize what hes doing to hisself? as everyone else has said he will always be and addict. my boyfriends brother told me when i started dating his brother that i had signed on for a everyday battle in which the war will never be won, that its like a rollercoaster ride in the dark where you are always afraid of what could happen, you have to do whats right for you and only you know the limits as to how much you can take with his battle before you throw in the towel. i am learning this for myself at this very moment. also every person is diff. in what triggers them and how they handle their issues. that being said, only you can help yourself help him the best way you know how based on his personality. i hope any of this helps. as i said i am going through the same thing and i am here if ya need anything, best wishes.
GMaWilli
I know what it's like to love a heroin addict & I know how it feels when "outsiders" who mean well just put more stress on you than you're already experiencing from the addict. NO ONE who's never loved a heroin addict understands. It's NOT even possible. Your brother chose some very stupid words to express what is probably "fear" for you. He's a man, so he communicates differently than we do. He isn't going to say, "Hey, sis, I'm really afraid for you. I'm really worried about you. I'm really sad for you." He's coming across like as ass because he wants to come across like "a man" (no offense to any of you guys reading this, but the whole Mars and Venus thing does play a role here). I'm glad your Mom is someone you've been able to lean on & communicate with through this whole thing. I'd just like to say that MOST LIKELY, your fiance' is going to have more relapses. I've gotten my hopes up on more than one occasion, but as time goes by, I learn not to get my hopes up so high. I've read stories where people have been "clean" for a number of years & then something in their lives trigger a relapse. You can marry him & he can stay clean for 5 years & then something can trigger him into a relapse. His brain chemistry has been FOREVER altered. It's just a fact. I don't know your brother, but he's probably frustrated and afraid & can't communicate those feelings in a way that isn't going to add stress to your already stressful life. I can't communicate with my fiance' about my son's addiction or my son's g.f.'s addiction because he judges and gets pissed off & wants to push me to just throw them out of my life. He doesn't understand...CAN'T understand. All he does understand is that their addiction makes me miserable, that it hurts me, stresses me out, and puts me in danger. THAT is what he can relate to, much like that is probably what your brother can relate to - what THEIR addiction is doing to US, and they want to protect us, they want us to get away from it. There are no easy answers here. We just have to take one day at a time. If you really & truly don't want to go through anymore relapses with your fiance', you might want to go ahead and move on, though. Thing is, we usually SAY we're not going through it one more time, but because we LOVE them, we DO keep going through it with them. Best of luck to you. I hope your fiance' sticks with his programs and stays clean. Sorry if I rambled.
GMaWilli
Oh, & one more thought. People like to play those reverse pyschology games alot. Could it possibly be that your brother thought that by accusing you of living a "heroin" lifestyle that you would get pissed off enough to leave your fiance to prove him wrong??
deleted_user
i was on heroin for about 10 years and am still on meth now but technically clean for 4 years and i know for a fact now after many relapses that i will never go back and the way i did it was to find out what was behind the heroin and crack addiction. you've got to ask him to find out why he does what he does get it sorted and then say goodbye to everything he associates with the drug. but what's essential is that he WANTS to stop if not you'd best get rid of him cos who knows when that time that he does want to quit will be? could be 10 years down the line and you really don't wanna be hanging about for something that might NEVER happen. as for your family. they obviously love you and are frightened for you. scared loved ones attack you when they don't know how else to react. it's coz they care. good luck anyway.
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