I am sorry and I really don't want to put anyone down. I have screwed up for the millionth time. I don't have suboxones anymore. So being sick isn't an option. I can't be sick. I know that what I am doing is wrong and I was doing good on the suboxones but there just aren't any around anymore. I don't have insurance to get into a program nor do I really want anyone to know what is going on. I don't know what to do I throw my hands up and admit that this addiction won. I can't do it anymore. I don't know where to turn. Everywhere I have tried wants money money I don't have. By the time I did try to get the help it will be a month down the road. Like I told the lady on the phone the other day SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO FOR THE NEXT MONTH? I can't stop crying what kind of a person am I. This is too much. Not exsisting seems to solve this problem but I really don't think I could bring myself to do that to the baby. I am sorry I just don't know what to do. I know I am so good on Subs and it was working last time fine but that doesn't seem to be an option anymore. Well guess that is all. Hope you all are doing better then me. Hugs happy new years
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