It is 2am and everyone is sleeping. I cannot sleep. If I am like this before I start what the f---. I feel I am being used. Everyone is always around me when I have money but as soon as they think it has ran out, off they go and that even includes family. Sometimes I think maybe if I had no money then no-one would be around me. Why do I always end up alone? So self pity is setting in again and I cannot get out of it. Oh what the hell. This is so not worth it. Going through 48 weeks of all this for what and I can tell within myself I will not and cannot get through this.
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