I was 19 when I had my first child. I lived in a dorm room and was running college track. I finished the spring semester, got my own apartment, worked full time, went to school full time, and had my first baby 3 weeks early. Then...I got pregnant again when she was 3 months old. I continued to work full time, went to school half time, and had my second baby when 12 months after the first. I was 20 years old. Their dad and I were on and off for a while through it all and I left him when my girls were 1 1/2 and 6 months old. Right now my girls 3 1/2 and 2 1/2. It's like having twins. I call myself a single mom, but I've actually been in a relationship for the last 1 1/2. He was my best friend when I was 13 and we have been in love for years. Except now it's different. You see...He's an Oxycontin/Heroin addict. Its horrible to think I allowed him in my life and my kids' lives, but thats the thing. He didn't bring it around. He would instead just disappear for days at a time. Contacting me through text messages or stopping by after my girls were tucked into bed. Now I'm slowly trying to deal with reality and acknowledge exactly what I've been through. I was in denial for so long...until one day I realized I couldn't "band-aid" his life anymore. It was like he was alive in body, dead in soul. The person I fell in love with was overcome by addiction and walked around like an empty shell. Lifeless.
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