He was the most awful person today.I realized alot and it hurt i cannot trust in him,Scared of everything,feel like there is nothing left.Dont know where to go sick of the games.I was sos upset i was crying but very upset at he same time.That was wrong to him to.I cant even cry right he said it was yelling.Maybe it was loud it came from deep inside.What the silent tears better.I'm so hurt and he held me down because i just said fine ill leave since you don't have time to deal with me or want to he said i didn't say i wanted that.He said it so mean so patronizingly and it hurt.Demeaning.Said i was a nut job.What cause anxiety depression,.Wonder where it is coming from.Yeah im angry at it but more hurt he discounted all my feelings in the end i got up after he let me and I didn't go didn't know where to.Then i felt worse the look on his face was i was pathetic and he won.So im here Scared about tomorrow want to run.It feels like a prison to me this is nothing i can deal with anymore.yet i don't know what to do.It seems anything i do will be wrong and he will find out.Says he cares but then acts like he doesn't.He wants what he wants.So he can go say do whatever but he would be pist.I feel like am stuck right here.Wheels spinning.
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