Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

3,798 Members
18,085 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Healthy Sex Support Group

What can make a 40+ man stay hard?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Had an earlier post similar but wasn't getting responses, I really need to know. I want to help my man with this.

My boyfriend is having trouble staying hard, don't know what is going on in his head but he says it happens sometimes, maybe stress, may be Welbutrin, maybe the slow moving divorce, being with me (a new woman)? He enjoys pleasing me and that is great! However, I still like him to finish and would also like to be on top but can't if it's soft. What can we do? Are there any toys that can help this, are there any verbal things I can say to keep him hard? Should I even bring up male enhancements? When we were away on a trip he was able to go 3 times in a night and was very relaxed. But now, it's harder for him or should I say softer? Help needed ASAP.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i would think stress nasty stuff that is..
deleted_user
deleted_user
a woman 20 years younger will do it
deleted_user
deleted_user
yea......nice 1 Ron..................NOT!!!
Tray34
Tray34
Is it often or just sometimes?I know stress can really affect a guy this way.And if he is thinking about it that makes it worse.Try a little oral sex if you do that..
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is a technique that is called something like "starting a fire' where you start at the base and roll it back and forth between your hands, like if you were using a stick to start a fire.

I haven't had to do it, but it sounds like it will work, it stimulates blood flow, which is what you want.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tell ya one thing. Wife and I take a shower together, letting her wash me gets me hard every time. Not even when she does sexual things...Just closing my eyes and feeling her hands all over me, lathering me up. Then she scrubs "Mr Happy Pants" good and clean, and he points straight out at her! She can't resist then!
jimmysquirrel
jimmysquirrel
wellbutrin for me was big penis problem(with my penis)... i could get hard, but it would constantly get lost in the middle of some very good sex... and i was 24 at the time!
bigguy3
bigguy3
Stress can "take the starch out" of the woody like nobody's business. Give him time to get through the stress.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not much different than what the others have said but...stress and meds...the two worse things every invented for a man when it comes to performance issues. Think about what you said..when you were away on a trip...3 times a night and he was very RELAXED. That should speak volumes.
koolman
koolman
Yeah, a woman 20 years younger will do it, although I've seen some pretty hot 40+ women who still get my dick hard. If a woman can keep herself reasonably slender at 40+...

Yes, stress kills erections. There's that emotional factor. He's gotta finalize that divorce and get free of the ex.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think the divorce thing will help. This did happen around the holidays. He's been better this week. Keep the ideas coming!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like stress. You could mention an herbal enhancement like Enzyte. It may help, you never know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
duct tape and popcycle sticks works too!
Dava
Dava
FOREPLAY

FOREPLAY

FOREPLAY
LisaACOA
LisaACOA
Try a "Cock Ring". You slide it on the base of his penis before he gets hard and it helps to keep his erection longer. I haven't been with someone that has used it but I know someone who loves it. Good Luck!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • magicroom

    Freedom

    Posted by: magicroom
    Last Reply: magicroom
    6
  • Silva_Eri

    Getting over Loneliness

    Posted by: Silva_Eri
    Last Reply: koolman
    8
    I’ve realized for a while now my marriage is over, there’s no saving it. The bawling eyes out stage had passed a year or so now. I’ve talked to a lady over domestic violence hotline today. She thinks it’s no surprise of my current condition. I’ve been bruised and hurt all these years and it’s taken a toll.Now, what’s my condition. I find myself succumb to loneliness and sadness. I...