
Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I'M WAY TOO UGLY FOR THAT...OR TOO MARRIED, THAT TENDS TO PUT A DAMPER ON GETTING AROUND AS WELL.
Thanks for pointing this out, I have known it for a long time, but I think alot of people don't realize.
"Wearing a comdom was like, taking a bath with your socks on." lol
You don't wear two wetsuits when you go waterskiing or diving!!
Good point well made Kate!
Depending on your situation, all that may not be worth the trouble. You can't tell by looking at someone if they have a STD, and they might not even realize it themselves.
I did want to address LisaACOA's comment. I have tried the dental dam/saran wrap barriers for oral sex. And while I think they are interesting to do from a variety standpoint, I dislike using them most of the time.
So that brings up the question, "Does it make sense to wear a condom if I'm doing unprotected oral sex?"
While this would be unethical, it would be interesting to have a test of 3000 couples, broken up into 3 main groups. For each sub group, in half the female has a STD and the other half the male has a STD. Now one group goes bareback, one group uses condoms only and the last group follows ALL safer sex practices, over a weekend. Then correlate the data on transmission rates.
Of course, another unethical aspect is you would probably want people who didn't know they had an STD, and everyone believes they are part of a control group.
I've never seen anything in the literature like this.
Speculating, what if the numbers turned out to be
Bareback = 70% (after 4 weekends, 99%)
Condom Only = 60% (after 5 weekends, 99%)
All barrier = 10% (after 43 weekends, 99%)
Clearly there is a difference between bareback and all barrier, but if these numbers were accurate, would that be enough of a case to use condoms only?
Let's say the numbers came out like:
Bareback = 70% (after 4 weekends, 99%)
Condom Only = 35% (after 10 weekends, 99%)
All barrier = 30% (after 13 weekends, 99%)
This makes the argument for condoms with new partners, but even doing everything still has significant risk after while.
Without data, it's hard to know. The most reliable way is testing, waiting for the incubation period, and testing again. But that requires trust in monogomy, which may be an issue.
If it turns out you only have sex with uninfected partners, then you can pretty much make any statement you like, and be convinced of it's verocity. I use condoms, and get tested every six months, and have never had a postive result. But, is that because none of my partners were carrying one?
It's also possible I could have always had unprotected sex and able to make the same observation, thereby "proving" my superior selection skills.
Like many things, it gets back to do what you are comfortable with, just let your partner know of your decisions.