Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Toy Dilemma

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been with my husband for almost 4 years now and when we first met and discussed what are likes and dislikes in bed were I explained to him that I was a big fan of sex toys and needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm...well he was all excited about that in the beginning and said how much he likes to give oral sex and wanted me to even show him how I like to use my toys!, but now after we have been married awhile he seems to have a different view of that sort of thing.
He does not like toys..he thinks they are just "funny" and one time he even got up and left the room when I pulled out my little bullet vibe!! He says he just can't take them seriously...
Can anyone help?..I like my toys :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe he feels like he has to compete with the toys and feels pushed away. He might get the feeling of what do you need me for?

Just a thought.
Wilson
Wilson
Sounds like he is a little insecure about himself. He is probably thinking that the toys satisfy you more than he does and it is making him feel like he is not doing his job as a man. You need to tell him that he is meeting your needs as a lover but you like to use the toys just to spice things up. I think anyway a man can get a woman off is okay so he shouldn't feel insecure about using toys.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for all of your replies! He should know that I cant replace him..I mean he knows I like that closeness feeling and looking into his eyes when we are together and afterall I cant cuddle with "Mr. Vibey" after we are intimate ;)tehe
I guess I just need to remind him that its just to spice things up like wilson said.
Although could it be that he just does not care if get me off anymore? Im just saying this because there are other ways he could and he does not do those anymore either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Talk to him about it. Ask him why his feelings seem to have changed from when you first told him about this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
One time I asked him why he had changed and he said that he had "higher priorities" and maybe im too wild. That really hurt my feelings.
Then another time he said that he's afraid im too kinky. But then he tells me he loves me..so im getting mixed messages I guess.
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