Funny!

I guess the holidays are that sweet, sappy time, about love and family, when loneliness abounds and heartstrings get tugged.

Anyone else you can spend the holidays with LOL?

when you have kids Kool, there are times and holidays that you have NO choice..

yep...my H's ex comes over and spends holdiays/birthdays with us...it's uncomfortable at times, but for the most part, we get along pretty well.

The only time we have problems is when his brother is there too, he always tries to start some shit with the ex...and it's stupid.

And Kool...what the hell? Do you think we voluntarily spend time with our ex's. (Or in my case, my husband's ex?) Yeah...we are just so fucking bored, we have nothing better to do than put ourselves in a miserable situation for the Holidays.

When you are a parent (at least a GOOD parent) you sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of your children. Thats just the way it is.

you know, it wouldn't be so bad either if he would ever move on with his life. He has has 1 gf in the 6 years we have been seperated/divorced...I truely think he has this romantic view that I will somehow come to my senses and take him back...not to mention his mother who thinks that it's better to be married and miserable then independant and happy...*sigh* what do you do?? you put on your smiley face and that good perfume and you do it anyway.......

Idmay and kidsintowe you do have a choice. You can choose not to be miserable for your holiday. You can choose not to spend it with your ex. The children can spend time with you and your family and him and his family seperately for the holiday's. Thats what getting divorced is about and alot of people successfully do it that way. Being divorced is certainly not about spending what should be the happiest and best times of your life with your ex....if you wanted to do that you should have stayed married. I do not mean this to sound mean or rude just a reality check.

you have one of those too???????

Before we actually got married, my MIL always thought it would be better for him to take the ex back so that the kids could have both of their parents together.

Apparently because she lived for 30 years in a miserable marraige, thats what everyone is supposed to do.

Do you have any idea what it felt like being around her, knowing that she though I was the reason the kids had to be raised in a broken home?

Forget the fact that their mother is a alcoholic drug addicted slut bag...that doesn't matter at all. sheesh.

Photolover,

I happily welcome my husband's ex into my home for the Holidays, because thats what makes our children happy. Seeing my kids happy on Christmas day means more to me than anything.

I have the rest of my life with my husband. Someday, the kids will be grown and out of the house, and we can do whatever we want together...but for now, I can easily put myself aside so that I can see the smile on my kids faces when they get to have ALL of their parents (bio and step) together for the holidays.

My daughter told us about 3 years ago that the biggest thing she hated about having divorced parents was that she had to have 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas's etc...that all she wanted for Christmas was to have her entire family together for that one day.

I am a selfless enough person, that I can do that for her.

Getting divorced doesn't mean that you stop being a family for your kids.

LMAO....holidays are the most stressful time of the year....

a reality check for who? for someone who knows NOTHING about my situation?? WTF? I guess in an ideal world your suggestions would be plausable. However this is not the case.

As my mother is having surgery on Tuesday, there is not going to be a "my side of the family" time..I'm taking it you have family close to you that you can do this with?? There are those of us that are not in close vacinity of our families to be able to do this with.

As I am looking out for the best interest of my children, I do this almost every year.

maybe before you post your "reality check" you could know the person you are responding to, to give your opinion?? Just a thought

Every family's different, you've just got to do what you feel is best.
I know other separated couples with kids, they don't spend the day together but just come to some agreement between themselves about who the kids spend Christmas day with and for how long.

I suppose even if you don't feel you have a choice about the day, you can still make sure you do something fun with the kids on Christmas Eve - it might help make the dreaded day itself more bearable ;)
Good luck!

I'm with ya girl. My ex himself spends all the holidays with us. So, thanksgiving and xmas for sure. And actually both holidays too we will be going over to his fam's house sometime. Just something we do for the kids!

My humblest apologies to both kidsintowe and Idmay. I did not mean to offend either of you. I was just trying to point out that may divorced couples do not spend holidays together and if it is a problem for you, your children will adapt and be fine. If it is not a problem for you then by all means do it the way you have been and have a blast. It just did not sound like you enjoyed it all that much. I; however, would not spend a holiday with either my ex or my girlfriends ex if you paid me.

Well if it's any consolation, I quite envy all of you who have kids to make the effort for.
I'll just be telling everyone how wonderful it is that I can have Christmas all to myself - but in reality, I'm probably going to have a wobbly moment at some point :(

awww...Phoenix...believe me..I don't know which is worse, having the dinner with him, or going home to an empty house (the kids are staying with him for the duration of the weekend after dinner). So I get to see both sides of it....My kids are my life..and they are so young still that they don't understand why I wouldn't go to dinner when they know my family isn't doing dinner this year. Beleive me, I am being the better person in this as their dad has stood them up on holidays before..I haven't had a few days to myself in uhhhhh...ummmmmmmm..........

I admire you for biting your tongue and making the effort! Hope you find something fun to do in the evening when you're by yourself, anyway.

I've got friends I can catch up with in the evening so it won't be all that bad - I'll just have to hope the weather's OK so I can get out for a good long walk by myself in the day. I've had a packed-lunch Christmas dinner on top of Beacon Hill before, with a flask of hot coffee - not everyone's idea of fun but I got some good scenic photos :)