
Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

deleted_user
Okay, since this particular board seems to have a fair number of fellows, I have to ask this question.
Oh, before I do, I want to clarify that I'm not complaining about anything, but my DH can't answer me clearly enough to make any sense, LOL!
We've been married for almost ten years. We've been together for eleven. Obviously, over that time period, my body has changed. LOL, now I'm not like Gilbert Grapes' mother, but I'm no where near as toned or blemish free as I once was.
However, you wouldn't know that if you talked to my DH. I'm not kidding, either. He runs after me as much, maybe more, now than he did when we first got together. If I brush past him, he gets hard and horny. Hell, if I look at him too long, LOL! Seriously, he is ready to go anytime, all the time.
Moreover, anytime we see a hot chick, he says stuff like "she's hot, but you're hotter." I should clarify that we both enjoy looking at women, so it's not like he's staring and I get pissed off and he's saying these things to soothe my anger.
Now that I've rambled on, sorry, here's the question: What is he seeing? From a masculine perspective, does he not see the differences in my body when he looks at me? I mean, hell, half the time I'm in sweats and a t-shirt, which seems to be just as sexy to him as lace and garters.
I mean, jeez, after ten years, I'm not hotter for him that I was when we met. And the whole 'in love' thing, well, it's sort of a cop out answer. I love him too, but I don't react the same way.
Oh, before I do, I want to clarify that I'm not complaining about anything, but my DH can't answer me clearly enough to make any sense, LOL!
We've been married for almost ten years. We've been together for eleven. Obviously, over that time period, my body has changed. LOL, now I'm not like Gilbert Grapes' mother, but I'm no where near as toned or blemish free as I once was.
However, you wouldn't know that if you talked to my DH. I'm not kidding, either. He runs after me as much, maybe more, now than he did when we first got together. If I brush past him, he gets hard and horny. Hell, if I look at him too long, LOL! Seriously, he is ready to go anytime, all the time.
Moreover, anytime we see a hot chick, he says stuff like "she's hot, but you're hotter." I should clarify that we both enjoy looking at women, so it's not like he's staring and I get pissed off and he's saying these things to soothe my anger.
Now that I've rambled on, sorry, here's the question: What is he seeing? From a masculine perspective, does he not see the differences in my body when he looks at me? I mean, hell, half the time I'm in sweats and a t-shirt, which seems to be just as sexy to him as lace and garters.
I mean, jeez, after ten years, I'm not hotter for him that I was when we met. And the whole 'in love' thing, well, it's sort of a cop out answer. I love him too, but I don't react the same way.
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YOU are sexy. Not what you look like or what you wear. He is ga-ga over YOU.
It is unfortunate that she did not realize or appreciate that.
The biggest sex organ in the human body is the brain .. turn on the brain .. and the rest follows .. it's not about the looks .. it's about how I feel around her ..
Some of this is sort of like what he's said. I reread the question and maybe the reason I don't get a satisfactory answer is because *I'm* not articulating clearly, LOL! I wasn't trying to imply that he'd be so superficial, or any man would be, that he'd stop wanting me. But he says he doesn't *see* my body the way I do. That's what has me scratching my head, but I suppose some of these replies shed light in that direction.
Too offer a bit of a non-emotional reaction, I realize how very unique it is for my partner to feel about me the way my husband does. I don't take it for granted at all.
I should say, though, that after more than a decade - it can get irritating - his constant arousal when we're together. ROFL, I mean I sort of thought the pawing part should have been over by now, LOL!
I couldn't help but laugh at your post though, I mean honestly, the idea of him at seventy something, panting after me with a walker, chasing my aged ass all over... Let's just say I'm going to hope it's the love, and not the lust, that burns him when we're that age!
Maybe he won't actually do it when he is 70..but certainly would want to!
He also could have a bigger sex drive than you do..which could explain a lot. But strictly to your question about your looks changing; he obviously doesn't care and/or see. Again, it's you that turns him on. The complete package.
He probably feels more intimate, 1000x more close and see's this beautiful sexy woman that is there all the time for him and accepts him for all his faults warts and all and that is so much more sexy than a toned body. is so in love with you that time has made him want and need you more physically
But also... i know with my girlfriend, every now and then she gets very self-conscious about things... and she THINKS that i think the same... but i don't.
i love her, and, well... while she is attractive, and i like that... it is her mind and heart i fell in love with... the physical is whati call a "perk"... but i got off track... so, let me see if i can put this properly... when she gets like that and starts going on about all these different physical flaws... i literally A- can not see what she is talking about, or B- don't care.