Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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loosing up vagina

i did ask about vaginitis, but i have another question. a gyno told me to get a dildo that doesnt vibrate and practice inserting it in me so my vagina can get loose. i told her that my body is sensitive even i freak out when touching my own vagina. when i was single, i didnt get the proper way of "fucking" cuz the guys back then were more interested in themselves instead of communicating what works and dont work, what hurts and doesnt hurt, etc. instead, i got yelled at by them a lot and ended up in arguments.

even with fingering, i still feel a lil pain. what are different ways to loosen up my vagina?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

There's such a huge variety of dildos in sizes and made from different materials to choose from. Go shopping at an adult store and pick one that you think will work for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Maybe you are tightening up the muscles around the enterence to your vagina because you are conditioned to not liking being enterd there by what happened in our past.

First, I would try a lot of lube. Then a lot more foreplay. Both are fairly inexpensive Maybe you could even have a couple of clitoral climaxes before anyone tries to put anything inside.

For a few bucks, You can order toys on line. Many vibrators have shafts which are small in diameter. Again use a lot of lubericant. You can buy lubricant at all drug stores.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Maybe you are tightening up the muscles around the entrance to your vagina because you are conditioned to not liking being entered there because of what happened in your past.

First, I would try a lot of lube. Then a lot more foreplay. Both are fairly inexpensive Maybe you could even have a couple of clitoral climaxes before anyone tries to put anything inside.

You can order toys on line. Many vibrators have shafts which are small in diameter. Again use a lot of lubricant. You can buy lubricant at all drug stores.
deleted_user
deleted_user

reply #2, omg r u serious? i have a man whos 6 yrs older. when i was single, i was with a guy who is 10 yrs older than me. he was great in bed but i had trauma from being fondled by an old geezer whom i never knew plus the guy who was 10 yrs older tried sticking it in me when i didnt want it in me thus causing it to be an argument. my man is great in bed i just got trauma...

sometimes i am tightening my muscles and other times my body does it on its own. i have used lube god hate most of them. the only lube i use it aloe vera gel which helps with inflammation. i remember my bf and i used too much lube made it all wet and his dick wouldnt stay in me, we would use lube a small amount at a time.

i kinda wonder is there anything u can do with the sensitivity of the vagina?
deleted_user
deleted_user

I LOVE THEM TIGHT..........Holds me in better.
davex
davex

mmmm tight vagina . I'd like to help . I can be very gentle :) . But I guess I don't have a good answer other than what others have said.
deleted_user
deleted_user

reply #7, if u dont have an answer then dont bother responding. this is beneficial for women to answer my questions since a man doesnt have a pussy! i have a man i dont need u to look at anything unless ur a female gyno!

reply #3,

sometimes i am not thinking about anything yet it still hurts! it still hurts inside and burns a lil bit. i took a garlic supplement to clean me out, used organic yogurt to put in probiotics in my pussy. the lube i use is aloe vera which helps me because it has properties to soothe irritation.

how am i suppose to relax at the gyno appts? when i go to gyno appts, when they open me up to see my cervix, thats where the pain hits extremely hard which they dont seem to get im not their other patients.
deleted_user
deleted_user

If the gyno you go to doesn't get it, have you tried a different gyno, one who specializes in these type of problems? Have you had any tests done, a transvaginal ultrasound and/or biopsy?
Autumnal
Autumnal

lady- how many different men have you slept with? as i also found sex painful at first. and it didnt go away. youve just gotta keep doing it over and over. it does go away...eventually....i am 32 and ive had quite alot of different partners, and i still dont always find sex comfortable. i just have to find the right positions for me. i am small down there too...haha is just one of those tings.
deleted_user
deleted_user

reply #9,

i went to different gynos in the past. right now, i gotta find another gyno, they knew what vaginimus is but the way how they treated it didnt suit me at all. back then, i should have asked have they treated it if so were they successful in doing it? this is what they all told me see a sex therapist they can treat it better! i wanted to curse im like why did i waste my time?

tests u ask? no, they wouldnt do any test. i take that back, they did one test and found i had a yeast infection that was it. what kind of tests would they normally do? ultrasound? no, they said i didnt need that because i guess their lack of knowledge on vaginimus. im curious what would an ultrasound do down there? all they did was listen to my problems and like i said prescribed me those suppositories to kill any bacteria.

reply #10,

i would say several but i didnt "actually have sex with them," it was just mere foreplay. my vagina wasnt allowing their dicks to go in me, the prob was they would force it in me knowing i told them i had issues in sex. i ended up yelling and cursing them out they blamed me for having a fucked up vagina!!!

in the past, those men were not patient at all. it made me sex horrible i thought it would be like in the movies or he would be gentle and understanding boy was i wrong! i told them just eat me since thats the only way i can get off. they got very mad ended up taking me home i became very resentful about how they treated me like dump.

im 25, i havent felt any pleasure just pain there was one time when my bf and i did it i didnt feel any pain. we dont get to have sex all the time because we do not live together, so it makes it very hard to even do it. when i 1st lost my virginity at 15 turning 16, it was great and very pleasurable then in my mind i changed it because i didnt want it in me. the guy at that time didnt ask me if we should have sex he just stuck it in there like it was nothing assuming i wanted it!
davex
davex

I wasn't aware you were in charge of this board and so have the right to dictate who can and cannot respond to your posts. Learn something new every day.
deleted_user
deleted_user

reply #12,

r u a woman? do u have a pussy? how can u answer my questions on vaginimus when u clearly dont know what that is and men cant get that anyway. when it comes to vagina issues, i ask women not men at least a woman can relate because she has been there done that. well, this is my post and i am the one who asked the question in the very beginning.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Did you see a sex therapist? A sex therapist might be able to help you get to the core issues of your vaginismus. From your previous sexual experiences, it's possible those bad experiences could be the cause of it. Vaginismus is many times caused by bad sexual experiences. Treatment many times includes extensive therapy along with education and behavorial excerises, that's what sex therapists do, a gyno doesn't do that which is why they told you to see a sex therapist.

Did you ever look into gettina a Vaginismus Treatment Kit? They can be used alone or with a partner.

As for men answering questions about vaginal issues, men don't have a vagina but that doesn't mean a man can't be educated in or know anything about vaginal problems. Men could have a female partner that had the same problems and he knows what kind of treatment worked for her.
deleted_user
deleted_user

reply #14, a sex therapist? really? no insurance wont cover that and im not paying for it not until there is a J-O-B. why would i purchase anything when theres no money? I don't have money. I am really late on getting my pap smears which i cant sit there calmly for them anyway. i have seen vaginimus kits online and i was like isn't there anything out there thats more alternative? i found a site where acupuncture was good for vaginimus....so i dont know. extensive therapy, well that isnt my concern i want a quick fix im almost 30 should i just be sexless or something?

i want to love sex, but at this rate, sex isnt even on my mind considering other issues im dealing with. i miss having sex with my bf but its the same as always pain and yelling even if i move my hips in a different position i still say ow that hurts.

i might try a sex therapist when i get a job, i will see what kind of BS i am gonna have to listen too and how long this will take.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Well excuse me, I don't know anything about you personal finances, your job or lack of job, what your insurance covers and what it doesn't.

There are no quick over night fixes. If you want to fix a problem you have to be patient, work with the therapist and that takes time. If you go in with the attitude what kind of BS you're going to have to listen to, it will be a waste of time. You have to be willing and wanting to do what it takes to solve your problems and if you think it's bullshit then bullshit is what you'll get out of it. Your choice!