Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I have had a strong desire to exhibit my butt mostly (wearing thongs) and once in a great while my genitals (About every couple of years). I find the safest place to do this is at a local fetish night, where I dress up. I am an older married man and wear a fetish mask when I do, or a Halloween mask at Halloween. My wife tolerates this and does not get angry, but worries that someone including my adult children may be at the bar and recognize me. I also enjoy dirty dancing with women at the bar. In addition I sometimes go to a massuse and get an erection under the sheet. They don't seem to care and if they would not i wouldn't go back. I do not wish to shock but just like acting sexy and dancing sexy. I find it hard to discuss my behaviors with anyone except a therapist, almost all of whom have said, (your are not hurting anyone, why do you feel so anxious about it?" I seem to get depressed if I can't carry out my fantasy. I also do some of this stuff with my wife. What do others think?
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
you're not hurting anyone
you have found safe ways to express yourself... so whats the problem??
You say 'almost' all the therapists more or less gave it their seal of approval. What did the other therapist(s) have to say about it?
If you were single, and not suffering axiety and depression, I wouldn't give it a second thought.
But your wife doesn't like your exposing yourself at the local fetish club, because you might be recognized. Do you mean that she doesn't mind you doing dirty dancing with women? Or getting hard ons with a masseuse? Or that she'd be perfectly fine with it if she could only be sure that no one you know would see you?
It sounds to me as if you are hurting your wife, to some degree. Are you?
Do you wish that you didn't want to do this stuff?
You say that you get depressed when you deny yourself this way of life, but you also say you are anxious about doing it.
You don't sound happy.
Do you consider yourself to have an addiction to this behavior; an addiction which you would like to be free of? There's a Sex Addiction/Pornography community on DS. Maybe you should check it out -- but I warn you, they are, in my opinion, a bit too militant a group, for my liking. (I read their posts but am not a member. Someone I know is.) I find them to be too condemning, if someone wants to continue on with their behavior.
It's not the behavior itself that I mind in your post. But it seems like it's causing some bad feelings for both you and your wife.
Can't really think of anything helpful except perhaps to keep plugging along with therapy until you either find out what's causing your anxiety and depression or until you and your wife feel perfectly okay with what you are doing!
Best if luck and take care!!!! I hope you find some peace!!!