Healthy sex? I wish. Well, actually I don't wish. I consider myself a smart, healthy, attractive woman, but I don't like having sex with people. I have had sex with so many men in my past just because I wanted them to like me, love me, give me attention and maybe convince me that I am someone special. I finally stopped violating mysef! Now, I am in a relationship with a man I love SOOOOOOO much, but I keep getting depressed after sex. (We've been together for 2 years.) I just do it for him and I would rather clean out the cat's box. I feel sexual around that time of the month and pretty much just take care of myself and it is great and fun, but it's done and I don't have to be poked, probed, or deal with his sexual needs. Plus, it just doesn't feel as good. And, yes, I am sexually attracted to him! I have spent 3 or 4 years now feeling like there is something wrong with me. I realized the consequence is losing this relationship so I have faked my enjoyment. I am such a great actress. But, I am finally honoring myself and my body and my needs. As we have had some counseling concerning the issue (and several others) I have heard him say he is very willing to try several different options. 1 being that I can say "no" and he can still be loving with me. 2 being that I can be in charge. 3 being that he is responsible for his own orgasm. 4 being that my orgasm is not FOR him, he doesn't own it, or me. (I feel that I have to be sexual just to make him feel good--and then in turn he will love me.) However, for him, he feels so rejected and angry and I have come to the conclusion that he really isn't able to support me through this. It's been a couple of months and we don't seem to be working through it as planned. I am willing to find ways to increase my desire (and I've done them all), but enough is enough. It's time for me to just start from the beginning realize I'm only now discovering my sexual self. Can't I do it alone and just be left alone? Maybe I'll be averse to sex for the rest of my life or maybe I'll finally stop having it when I'm looking for something else so I will actually be able to say "yes" and mean it. I feel alone with this issue. I can't find any info on people who just aren't wanting to be sexual. I want to want to be, and dear goodness that's a start, but I'm so tired of betraying myself. I have to honor myself, even if it means experiencing a loss that I will most likely never, ever recover from. Ugh......