Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Healthy sex? I wish. Well, actually I don't wish. I consider myself a smart, healthy, attractive woman, but I don't like having sex with people. I have had sex with so many men in my past just because I wanted them to like me, love me, give me attention and maybe convince me that I am someone special. I finally stopped violating mysef! Now, I am in a relationship with a man I love SOOOOOOO much, but I keep getting depressed after sex. (We've been together for 2 years.) I just do it for him and I would rather clean out the cat's box. I feel sexual around that time of the month and pretty much just take care of myself and it is great and fun, but it's done and I don't have to be poked, probed, or deal with his sexual needs. Plus, it just doesn't feel as good. And, yes, I am sexually attracted to him! I have spent 3 or 4 years now feeling like there is something wrong with me. I realized the consequence is losing this relationship so I have faked my enjoyment. I am such a great actress. But, I am finally honoring myself and my body and my needs. As we have had some counseling concerning the issue (and several others) I have heard him say he is very willing to try several different options. 1 being that I can say "no" and he can still be loving with me. 2 being that I can be in charge. 3 being that he is responsible for his own orgasm. 4 being that my orgasm is not FOR him, he doesn't own it, or me. (I feel that I have to be sexual just to make him feel good--and then in turn he will love me.) However, for him, he feels so rejected and angry and I have come to the conclusion that he really isn't able to support me through this. It's been a couple of months and we don't seem to be working through it as planned. I am willing to find ways to increase my desire (and I've done them all), but enough is enough. It's time for me to just start from the beginning realize I'm only now discovering my sexual self. Can't I do it alone and just be left alone? Maybe I'll be averse to sex for the rest of my life or maybe I'll finally stop having it when I'm looking for something else so I will actually be able to say "yes" and mean it. I feel alone with this issue. I can't find any info on people who just aren't wanting to be sexual. I want to want to be, and dear goodness that's a start, but I'm so tired of betraying myself. I have to honor myself, even if it means experiencing a loss that I will most likely never, ever recover from. Ugh......
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Will I ever be in the mood? Who knows? But I hear ya girl.
Have you thought about going to see someone? I have always been extremely interested in sexual therapy as a profession and done alot of research on it. Usually there is a underlying cause to the anxiety you feel when you are trying to be intimate. I would really suggest, both for you individually and your partner, to go to therapy. Whether its together or just by yourself for alittle bit. It sounds like your partner is very understanding and wants to help but just doesn't really know how. Well good luck with everything.
Men, these could be reasons why your SO's or ex-SO's are not into too much sex.
She very well expressed her reasons.
And the thing is... the question now becomes, do you want ot get over it, or are you ok with it. If you are ok with it, then since it is your body, then you aren't obligated to do anything for anybody.
But if you do because of whatever reason, counseling may help.