No laughter here.

Have you seen a counsellor regarding this? You could benefit from both individual and couples counselling.

If you're interested in sex, just not with your partner, it's not likely a medical condition, but a psychological block.

IMHO - Don't do the affair. It will NOT help the situation.

have to agree with you on that one Persehon

It's not a mental block and I definitely don't want sex with him. I guess I will have to learn to 'go it alone'

persephone is right don't have an affair it won't help. councelling is what you need to help you figure things out.
I applaud your courage for asking it means you are open to help.

and again i have to agree with Mom on that one. Like they always say Mom knows best

Well, if you are BOTH in agreement with an "open" marriage, then, whatever works for you!

I must state again though, in my opinion, that an affair is not the answer, your running the risk of emotional involvement.

I guess I'd like to ask that other than the sexual aspect (which is VERY important..) how secure are you in your marriage? Are you happy together? Can you live like this for the remainder of your life?

well done guys,an affair will lead to guilt that you do not need on top of everything else.you dont want to anything to send you back in the hell (depression) you just came from.counseling and hefty prayer is where i would start.and to get the ball rolling i start with one for you.

I am not laughing at you hun. I know sorta what you are going through as far as the feelings of not wanting your husband to touch you. honestly I agree with all the previous posts. In my case I just had to leave.

An affair is the wrong way to go.It is not right for you or him.At think you guys need to seperate or seek counseling.Way be with someone and don't have sex.Just wrong in my book unless something wrong with him.

I've not been in the exact same situation as you, but one of the many problems between me and my ex-husband was that the sex dwindled down to nothing after a major bust-up - we got back together and were supposedly working on things, but I just couldn't bring myself to trust him any more (with good reason as events turned out, but that's another story.)
It sounds to me as if you're in a similar position right now. You need to decide whether you're going to trust him again, with counselling if that's what it takes, or whether you're just staying put because it's "the right thing to do", in which case you're probably going to end up feeling even more betrayed some day about the wasted time.

I made a decission last night.It kind of came from the advise I got here. I knew my depression had lifted. I was looking at my husband and realised that not only did I care about him (although I felt I didn't love him) So I decided that I would try again. I don't know who was more surprised, him or me!!! I just slid into bed with him and from what I thought was going to be sex, we ended up making glorious love. It felt good even though I couldn't orgasm. I wanted to, it just didn't happen. If you want to know if he did, just believe me that he hasn't wiped the smile off his face 7 hours later. We had lots of foreplay and he has always been 'attentive' how do I get to orgasm? I m still fully functional, is it a mind block or am I just so out of practise? Any ideas?

Well you go girl, keep going and i know you will get there.

It may be that you are still holding back a lil it may even be sub-conscious.

Btw Good for you! :)

wooooooooooooo hoooooooooo we just had another 'practice' watch this grin LOL :0)