Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Hello There Mr. Penis???

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi There,

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs and have lived together for 2 of those yrs. Sex used to be this great thing in our relationship but lately... yea, not so much. I'm assuming a lot of it has to do with we used to sneak in that quicky before everyone got home before we lived alone and it was a feeling of adventure. But even now, I put on the costumes and role play, I'm the one who brings in the toys, and I'm the one who starts it all. He just doesn't initiate sex anymore and it drives me nuts! I've asked him if it's something I'm doing wrong or if I just need to drop a few pounds to be attractive and he says everything is just fine and he doesn't know why he's like this. Even once we do have sex, it's just not the same. I think I've done just about everything to bring spice back short of buying a pole for our room, but trust me I've looked into getting one. LOL! But I'm TIRED so TIRED of being the one to bring him into the bedroom or put on the show. It's his turn to sweep me up and take me into the bedroom. At least that's what I would like.

Any suggestions? Thanks so much for listening!!
cowboy357
cowboy357
viagra , or enzyte , other than that I dunno , I have no troubles like this with my new wife of 3 years . my x wife yes she lost interest but I didn't care too much our marraige was a 16 year failure
deleted_user
deleted_user
Honey, I feel your pain!
sometimes I think im the only one working hard to make the intimacy stay alive..wish I could help but I need some advice also!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally agree, it leaves you feeling like there is something wrong with you, you are unattractive and not sexy... We are not that bad are we?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Be flirty with him - NOT at home. Playful little things are the restuarant, shopping, etc. Squeezing his ass (or something else) - blowing on his neck, kissing his ear, etc...all that little "naughty" playing that is so fun. You get that public-play rush but also get each other worked up so the second you hit the car...or walk in the door..and he will attack.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, this man doesn't know how lucky he is to have you. Maybe he is just spoiled.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Get him to take 2 natural enhancment pills. They are over the counter. Usually called horny goat weed. It makes them more open, relaxed and it increases the amount of pleasure they feel. those pills arent just for getting it up. I always keep a few around for when I want my guy to spice it up.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well if i was involved that wouldnt be aprob.but for u if u keep letting this build up it will ruin it for you.talk to him let him know what you need from him and that you will continue to to do your part.a one way street it shouldnt be
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree with Paula b/c it is the same way with me. it start to hit you really hard and makes you start to think that it is you and that there is something wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really appreciate all of the support and thoughts. It sadly is taking a hit on myself and our relationship. Let's hope it all works out. :) I'm glad others understand!
deleted_user
deleted_user
could it be depression? Is everything else okay?
If its just a wood problem there are ton of herbal products, the one I was using for a bit was called male response and had tons of stuff in it. It made me harder more often, I quit using it cuz I'm single now
koolman
koolman
I think he's lazy and not putting his share of effort into the relationship. Let's face it folks, it takes work to keep things interesting! Or...maybe you guys have aged a bit in those 4 years and have matured EMOTIONALLY, so that sex is now a small part of the equation...may be time to talk and behave on a DEEPER level than just physical if the relationship is going to survive...talk about your FEELINGS...just my opinion.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how this feels,the only advice i can offer is don't scream and yell,i tried that last night and it just didn't help for some reason
deleted_user
deleted_user
LOL ,all these sex crazed women on here ,,Wake up husbands!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband was like this just about our entire marriage (which just ended when we seperated 8 weeks ago). This was one of the big problems in our marriage. I don't say this to scare you, but just that I wouldn't take it lightly. I was doing all the same things you were and maybe even some you are not, and nothing ever seemed to work or stick. My hubby finally went to the doc about it and they told him first it was stress. The next time he went they told him maybe he had a mild depression. He finally went and got on some medicine for it and it changed. Until he quit taking his medicine that is. But once he got on an antideppresant, his sex drive was a total 180. He only took it for a month, so it did not last, but that seemed to be what was going on - a mild depression. I know it feels like rejection and is soooooooo frustrating. Hang in there if you really love him, just don't take it too lightly. I wish you the best!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I are rarely intimate. He's just always so tired. We have many other ways to show our emotional bond that it's not as important as it once was. Just talk to him and ask him what the change is. I know how you feel. When my hubz and I first talked about this I actually started crying because I thought it was because he didn't find me physically attractive anymore. I would discuss it more deeply with him before you just tell him to take a male enhancement that might really hurt his pride and just make it that much harder for him to perform.
What my husband told me is that he just gets so worn out from work that he has no energy left for anything else. Just a few days ago he started taking a B-12 supliment on top of his daily multi-vitamin. There's already a little bit of extra energy and he's not always so tired or worn out.
We haven't started "playin' around" more yet, but honestly, it's to the point in my pregnancy that I need a fork lift to get out of bed or off the couch so it's kinda hard to feel sexy.. lol

Good luck
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