In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
> > witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
> > and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do
> > know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
> > frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
> > your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
> > backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to
> > realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
> > pusher. Yes, I know you.'
> >
> > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> > the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
> >
> > She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
> > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
> > can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is
> > one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
> > wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
> > him.'
> >
> > The defense attorney nearly died.
> >
> > The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
> > quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
> > I'll send you both to the electric chair.'