Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
OK, someone else posted something similar...but I joined this community just to get some feedback on this topic, so here goes.
My now ex-husband and I were together for 10 years. We are divorced now but working toward a possible reconciliation (long down the road). Anyway, the fact that he takes so long to have an orgasm has really been a negative factor in our sex life. It isn't enjoyable to me after that long (especially since I orgasm rather quickly and easily). He has been on anti-depressants at various points in our relationship, but this problem occured even when he wasn't. He claims it has occurred in every relationship. He states that it even takes a long time when he masturbates. He has never had an orgasm from oral sex. He can only finish with me from behind (the vast, vast majority of the time anyway). Again, he claims that this is the same position he uses during masturbation. He insists that it has nothing to with me, his arousal, or his enjoyment of it. It is hard to not take it personally, but I am trying to "research" other possibilities. Can anyway provide me some insight on the issue?
My now ex-husband and I were together for 10 years. We are divorced now but working toward a possible reconciliation (long down the road). Anyway, the fact that he takes so long to have an orgasm has really been a negative factor in our sex life. It isn't enjoyable to me after that long (especially since I orgasm rather quickly and easily). He has been on anti-depressants at various points in our relationship, but this problem occured even when he wasn't. He claims it has occurred in every relationship. He states that it even takes a long time when he masturbates. He has never had an orgasm from oral sex. He can only finish with me from behind (the vast, vast majority of the time anyway). Again, he claims that this is the same position he uses during masturbation. He insists that it has nothing to with me, his arousal, or his enjoyment of it. It is hard to not take it personally, but I am trying to "research" other possibilities. Can anyway provide me some insight on the issue?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
For me as a man I enjoy having an orgasm, but I dont need to have it every time.
My situation is different but linked to yours as my partner's had delayed ejaculation nearly all his life, though his erection problems now he's older mean I've never had the 'benefit' of the longer lasting sex with him that all his ex's had. I've really envied them and felt I'd missed out but your experience has made me realise maybe things weren't so fantastic just because he could go on and on
I hope what he's told me might be some help?
I've been with him 3 years. He's 64 and has had delayed ejaculation all his life - though he described it as an asset, I wasn't so sure!!!
He's got erection problems now which mean sex only lasts a minute or so before he loses his erection - I tell him he wore it out - and he can only finish when I masturbate him after sex
But more relevant to you is that he says he came quickly when he was young and first had sex, but that he quickly learned to control it (he's very big on selfcontrol) - until he could go on for an hour or more and sometimes not finish then. He says girlfriends used to tell him to hurry up and come, and that they would sometimes have to stop because they got sore. He says they used to ask for a night off! The longest that one girlfriend timed him at was 2 hours!!!!!!!! (She lives in the same street as me, which really rubs salt in the wound, I can tell you!) I'd be happy for 10 minutes :-(
But compared to sex with my ex's this is certainly hard work!
About a year ago I got so low about it all that I got counselling and they said it's all a control issue with him, and that he can't relax and let go which completely fits in with his personality, so there's a mental block there, I don't know if that might fit in at all with your experience?
But I know for sure that not being attractive enough for him to let go and be swept away by sex with me makes me hate myself
Thanks to bjincali for the proper description btw