
Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Okay, my husband begs me to be on top, but I just can't do it. We have been together 11 years and I bet I have been on top maybe 3 times. he loves it and I know he loves it but I feel very self conscience(sp??) on top. I feel like I just don't know what I am doing. Is this weird? Am I ruining things for my husband? I love for him to be happy and I love to please him. I guess I just don't think much of it till he begs me and I refuse. then I feell guilty'
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What I used to do is be on top for a little bit and then switch up positions. That way it's sort of a compromise- you get some of what you like, he gets some of what he likes. He might like the way it feels at that angle- if that's the case, you might be able to make him happy with a different position altogether than what you guys normally do. Grab a kama surta and highlight a few things that look interesting- that way it will mix things up but might be a bit more comfortable for you.
At the end of the day, remember that your husband loves you a lot. He wouldn't be asking for you to be on top if it didn't feel good for him, you had no clue what you were doing, or he didn't like the way it felt/looked. So try to let go of some of those inhibitions.
One thing that is super sexy - at least to me - about a woman on top is that it's like she's using me to get herself off... like I'm her hard stud, her boytoy or whatever.... so don't think about pleasing him when you're up there, just do what feels good to you. IMO that's 99% of a guy's satisfaction level anyway (that is, seeing you enjoying yourself).
I love just lying there and being hard for my girl. Makes me feel so masculine and studly while she uses my cock for her enjoyment.
When we are in the love making mode .. I don't care what I may or may not look like .. just trying to please her .. and me ..
I used to be very self-conscious as well. Sometimes it helps to wear a sexy bra or top, something that you feel hot in. This is such a great position for having orgasms, a lot of direct stimulation.
You are not weird and obviously you care about his feelings or you wouldn't be asking for advice. You don't really have to know what you're doing, just slide around, trust me, he'll enjoy it.
I wish you luck and I hope that you will eventually be more comfortable in that situation.