Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Okay seriously I guess this is just another hormonal rage or something (being pregnant and all), but seriously okay last night my husband and I planned to get freaky after work, it was late because I didnt get off till 11pm, but I went above and beyond the whole day preparing, shaved, figured out a nice sexy outfit to get him going. So after the BJ ( I know tmi) he decides to shoot his load in my mouth and be done! Okay so as if that didnt piss me off. We got a new digital camera so I went on thinking well, I didnt get the pleasure I wanted tonight so maybe I'll have fun taking pictures and stuff, everytime I took his picture he bitched about the flash and that I was going to blind him. Okay so that sent me to bed just outright pissed. What crawled up his ass and died. So I even managed to let that go. I went and put on (TMI) some lacy white undies and a slinky little black nighty and went to bed, hoping that this will surely get him for some morning action. I woke up before him and had my nighty slightly over my hip with my lacy panties showing, and all I heard was SNOREEEEE. Then when he finally did wake up he was covering me up and telling me I was cold and that I should come lay on his chest and go back to sleep. So by then that was the last straw I have given him nothing but short answers all morning and then he says I didnt know you wanted to get freaky???? I was like what the hell, do you think I walk around in lacy panties and silky black nighties to get myself off!!! and even now he's still blowing it off. I have wanted nothing more then to have him make me feel beautiful (being that all I feel is big fat and pregnant), and half the time when he wants to have sex anymore its always planned and he makes jokes about it. Oh you shaved that means I have to explore right? I'm like seriously No dumbass, I just wnet above and beyond the norm to look gorgeous for you and now you just ruined it by a stupid comment. I dont know about some of you but when sex is planned ALL the damn time, its not fun anymore. And its not even that I want to have like wild passionate crazy sex. I just want him to make me feel beautiful without having to say "Yes dear I put on lacy panties and a black slinky nighty for you to freakin get it on with me!" Damn. Its gotta be hormones but is it to much to ask to have it not be planned and not be goofy. Just once make love (especially well pregnant) without having to say HEY Get your ass over here I need your man parts! ERRRRRRRRRRR! I dont know what other kind of hints to give him if shaving, doing your hair, make-up, sexy clothing and he still says I had no idea you wanted to get freaky! Anyway, I just needed to vent.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
straight up with me, especially once you have been together for a while. You are married, pregnant, therefore committed. He has seen you in sexy undies many times, right. I think he is past the time when he will pick up your cues as he is becomeing numb to them from exposure. No easy way to say this. I think,as unfair as it might seem, that you need to get past the romance and be really striaght with him about what you need. I think you have simply entered a new phase of your relationship. It does not mean he doesn't love you, it means he
is comfortable. He is no longer in tune with you as he was when you were first together because he doesn't feel the need to attract you.
Men do not function the way women do. We do not pick up cues to well. Some men may, but certainly not me and many others. We need straight talk. Hope this at least gives you a new angle to think about.
the hard way like me.. He's not listening to you. Sure way to fuck up a relationship.
Above you mentioned not glamming up for yourself, only doing it to encite a positive reaction from him, JMO "WRONG"
do it for yourself, dress to the nines for you and then maybe he will see that chance that you could be a fleeting thing. If you glam up for him and get no response, what will it hurt to glam up for you. He might see it as a chance your looking elsewhere. You have a child on the way, there are emotions running rampant throughout you, and believe it or not him also, or they should be. Hang in there
Now, being pregnant, I know that hormones make you feel like you are bigger than you actually are, you feel less attractive and no where near sexy most of the time. When you DO, it should be acted upon.
I still have a very high sex drive (I always have), but of course now with the baby here we have to work around her schedule - obviously if she wants to be played with we can't very well sit there and screw.
I'm sure he finds you quite beautiful - especially being pregnant. Maybe he was just tired or not feeling well, or stressed out. I would tell him how I feel - yeah, it was nice you gave him some head and he felt incredible - but you wanted a bit more action. I'm sure he'll understand....and he'll be willing to return the favor.
And don't worry, you still are gorgeous! It's the hormones talking and your body changing...just remember that soon you'll be bringing a beautiful little person into the world! :)
For one you guy is a guy and hes obviously DENSE! I mean some guys just dont get it.
When my guy hasnt gotten it, when ive made it pretty damn clear, i warn him...ok hunny just letting you know for the record before i get all snippy with you that youve denied me twice now, and the third time i will not be able to stay respectful.
And usually hes like "oh my gosh, really? twice now? Im sorry, ive been really tired cause of work, i didnt mean it."
And he does MEAN that, maybe your guy is stressed. Or worried about the responsibility of becoming a daddy. I dont know.
But youve made it clear in some ways, but whenever i give my guy a BJ he assumes unless i clearly tell him i want him to cum that hes not to cum because he knows i want MORE! Which is a beautiful thing cause im wanting to share with him the beauty of orgasm and not just letting him go all by himself. Any guy can do that with anybody lol.
Anyways im ranting, but your guy needs come to reality. And maybe you should just grab him and tell him EXACTLY what you want in an almost domineering/fun way??
Second, I've never understood men who don't want the attention of the women to whom they are married. Right now I am DYING for some lovin' from my wife. I would kill to be able to have the kind of love life we had when we were dating.
So if your hubby isn't getting the none-too-subtle hints you're dropping him, it's time for a serious heart-to-heart. Take the advice of some of the women above who warn that pregnancy hormones might be driving your ramped-up libido, but do compare your pre-pregnancy drive with your current status. See if there's been a change in his interest since your pregnancy too.
I hope you both figure it out!
M