Guilt. Anger. Shame. My husband asked for a hand job in the middle of the night ... he's not slept in weeks due to most recent surgery ... hand jobs relieve the pain in his back and help him to sleep. When we first got together five years ago, sex was fun. Two years into his disabilities, the trouble started. Now the touching is one way: me to him. I don't like him touching me anymore ... PTSD and anger and resentment all rolled up into one. I have to do EVERYTHING around the house due to his disabilities, plus work, plus try to take care of myself, plus deal with his moods. He's been an asshole on Percoset since the surgery three weeks ago. He dropped the Percoset two days ago cold turkey. He apologized to me. Then, last night, for the first time in a long time, he asked for a hand job. I refused. He asked why. I yelled "because I need to sleep!!". He left the room. This morning we're not talking. I apologized but he's not accepting it. Silence. Now I'm going for a walk. I'm not a bitch, but our relationship right now is so complicated, and it's really not good for me to do things sexually that I do not want to do. I'm feeling really shitty right now ...
Posts You May Be Interested In
Has anyone ever tried a light box? Do they actually work? If so, please let me know if there are specific ones you have used beffore.
I feel like I'm having a week long panic attack and I don't know why. I started emdr and the Prozac is helping. I am usually depressive and today it feels like both. I feel all over the place. Substitute teaching is hard. The students respect me more than teachers. The students are more likely to ask my name than teachers. I'm just "the sub" to teachers. Just feeling alone, anxious, teary, and...