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First, there are the women who are pretty now and have been pretty all their lives; these women grew up being constantly told how pretty or cute they are, and they start to associate being pretty with being loved. Then those self-conscious teen years come along, and they suddenly notice every little thing that's wrong with them, and start freaking out because they see being pretty as a defining part of who they are. So, they start wearing makeup, or dieting, or obsessing over how they dress--and the more they think about it, the more they come to believe that they are just no longer pretty and that no one will ever love them again because of it. Girls don't realize they're doing this; if they did, maybe they'd stop.
Then there are the beautiful women who were unattractive when they were growing up--or who at least weren't regularly told how pretty they are, and who saw other girls get attention for being cute. Same story here, these girls become obsessed with how unattractive they are, and they don't notice when they start to mature and grow to be beautiful. It's very hard to make one of these girls believe how attractive they really are; my older sister is one of them. It drives me insane.
So, yeah. I don't know if that made any sense to you, but it's the best I can come up with. Three cheers for those rare beauties who manage to overcome these negative feelings and who realize how attractive they really are!
Women believe that women become more unattractive as they get older and that men become more attractive as they age. There are too many things that tend to generate this belief.
And then there are the older non-married women that have been "damaged" by past experiences and relationships.
A man is not believed no matter what he says about a woman's attractiveness.
My point is that women ask men to talk to them. Then they disregard whatever a man says. It's not that they really care what a man says. Women just want the interaction which causes a feeling of intimacy.
This makes men confused. Because they thought that communication is about coming to a consensus, an agreement, an understanding. Women just like to vent sometimes. They don't need it fixed. Not until they really complain about it. ;)
So, this thread was started by a guy trying to understand why women say the things they do. I'm sorry to tell him that only one woman in twenty can give him the correct answer.
And although fv says that it makes perfect sense, I dare him to come back tomorrow and still say it makes perfect sense after he's thought about it.
The reasons women say this stuff is absurd. It isn't rational. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
I took this question to a female freind of mine. She is married to a great guy and she is beautiful. Tall, blonde, blue eyed freakin bombshell. Here is what she said to me(in confidence) "Vince, it is defenitely a part of my DNA, some days I don't want to come to work because I feel ugly and fat"! She went on to tell me that she thinks her husband is cheating and I know for a fact there is no way he would ever do so.
I don't get it girls! What the hell? I told her she is nuts! She just shrugged her shoulders with a crooked grin. This is a woman that I consider to have it all. Beauty, brains, a wonderful family, and on and on.
Damn, now I'm depressed.
But keep in mind, in society's eyes, women aren't supposed to go around telling people they're perfect and gorgeous (maybe the drag queens), but we're kind of taught to not be too bold... And then we all have our fat days.