
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

Autumnal
i met a guy who is five years older than me last night, im 30 and hes 35. we were both single...i was instantly attracted to him...at first i was pursueing him more...he told me that he'd broken up with his gf of 10 years and had been single for a month...and was only looking for 'one night stands'..at first i thought that was a very forward thing to say, but he saw the look on my face when he said that...and said 'i take it your not impressed by one night stands?' i said well..id had a lot in my younger days, but as ive had so many relationships...and im single now...im kinda looking for more than just sex, im looking for a relationship.' i said that and kinda stared at him, and he said 'well, thats cool,' and his eyes kinda lit up, and then he offered to buy me a drink...he then started to tell me about how he smokes pot, occasionally...which im not really into...and he said 'you dont like that i smoke pot either do you?!? and i said well uh...not really...and he said 'dont worry, i can change all of this...' and im thinking hmmm....but now he is being especially nice...i walk away and go and talk to my friends for a bit...and i can overhear him talking to his friends and going to strip clubs, and that he hasnt been to one in 2 years, and wants to go to one soon...he then sees me and says 'oh kate im not that bad!!!' and offers to buy me another drink...anyway im kinda half and half on this guy...hes really cute and we get along well...but not sure if hes dodgy or not...him and his friend give me a ride home, i get out the car to go inside and he rushes over to me and puts his arm around me...he asks me for my number, and i give him mine, he then says 'dont i get to give you a kiss goodbye' i say ok and we kiss...
so yeah...im not sure, i guess the only thing i can do is go out with him and test the waters...but i dont wanna be strung along! i get hurt pretty easy...been out with manipulative guys before...but he seemed really cool and the whole strip club pot smoking thing just aint me!
so yeah...im not sure, i guess the only thing i can do is go out with him and test the waters...but i dont wanna be strung along! i get hurt pretty easy...been out with manipulative guys before...but he seemed really cool and the whole strip club pot smoking thing just aint me!
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Now you just need to figure out if you are gaming him. You gave him your phone number even though he told you he was only into one night stands. OK then, he may be around two or three times for you, but that's going to be it.
So have fun, but don't get upset when it doesn't work out. Don't make up a story about how it could be and be disappointed when it doesn't follow your story line.
It's OK to test the waters and find out about people. To see how they tick and such. But it's unhealthy to deceive yourself and make it like there's something more than is really there. You can play with your own emotions all you want. Just don't play with your friends emotions too.
In short, don't create drama for the sake of making your life interesting. Life is already interesting.