Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I saw guy #1 again. He invited my daughter and me camping and hunting for the weekend. It was a lot of fun, we all had a great time. I cut the trip a little short because my daughter wanted to get back home to go on a date with her new boyfriend. I thought we left on good terms with #1 and he acted like everything was fine. He called just as I was walking in my door... just checking to see that I got home ok. Everything was still good... or so I thought. This was at about 8:00 pm Saturday.
Just before midnight, the phone rang. It was #1 again. He had obviously had a few too many beers and proceeded to tell me just what he thought of me leaving earlier than he had planned and about how selfish my daughter was and how I was spoiling her. Everything he said was littered with profanity and his tone of voice was very mean and he said some very ugly things. He kept saying that he wasn't mad, but when I said that he sounded mad to me, he threatened to hang up and never call me again if I said that one more time. I was physically shaking. I've never heard him sound like that.
Of course he called Monday and appologized all over the place. I asked him if he remembered what he said, he didn't... so I reminded him of a few things. I told him he was mean. He appologized some more. He's very good at appologizing. Like he's had a lot of practice.
I told him that he shouldn't call me anymore. Thankfully, I think he realizes that he blew it. I won't be seeing him anymore. But I have to admit... it hurts me that it's over. I let myself get much more attached to him than I intended. But I just can't deal with Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
Just before midnight, the phone rang. It was #1 again. He had obviously had a few too many beers and proceeded to tell me just what he thought of me leaving earlier than he had planned and about how selfish my daughter was and how I was spoiling her. Everything he said was littered with profanity and his tone of voice was very mean and he said some very ugly things. He kept saying that he wasn't mad, but when I said that he sounded mad to me, he threatened to hang up and never call me again if I said that one more time. I was physically shaking. I've never heard him sound like that.
Of course he called Monday and appologized all over the place. I asked him if he remembered what he said, he didn't... so I reminded him of a few things. I told him he was mean. He appologized some more. He's very good at appologizing. Like he's had a lot of practice.
I told him that he shouldn't call me anymore. Thankfully, I think he realizes that he blew it. I won't be seeing him anymore. But I have to admit... it hurts me that it's over. I let myself get much more attached to him than I intended. But I just can't deal with Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
No.2 ?
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Kudos to you for recognizing it.
Whether or not he meant it (which I do believe he did on some level) he did it. He obviously believes that appologizing and asking for forgivness is just as good as never doing something to be forgiven for. But it's not. You can never unring a bell.
It's not the first time he's had to call me and appologize. And each time it escalates just a little more. Red flags all over the place. I gave him a chance... didn't judge based on his past, only what he showed me. He won't change. No matter how much I want him to.
#4
Well, you are heading in the right direction.
Do you think OUR help has helped YOU make the right choice ?
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Even if he was sorry the next day - sorry can't make you feel better about it nor can it replace your trust and security that he will treat your heart gently or respect your mother daughter relationship.
I mean - excuse me - but how long has he been in your life? And he proposes to understand the delicate and complicated relationship a mother has with her daughter?
How absurd, presumptious & arrogant. Imagine what else he would have such "clear and precise" opinions on and insights into down the track. Ughh - forget him!
Maybe if I'd had DS friends 10 years ago to warn me off of my second husband I could have avoided the biggest mistake of my life.
Thanks guys :)
#10
On a Date, would you call "Time Out" in the middle of it... to consult with your DS peers as to how to proceed in any future dilemnas ?
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