
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

deleted_user
My husband and I have had a really bad summer, He decided that it was time for him to go through a mid-life crisis. So he spent most of the summer, with his friends liveing the high life,he spent alot of time at Hooters firlting with the girls there, and even though he says he never cheated on me, as far as am consernerd he came as close as you can come. Well now that we have be through the therpy, and he has decide that his family is important to him, and that he has really messed things up with me (I have already been in contact with a lawyer) He wants to try again, now he as told me everything that went on, but I still cant trust him, and am not sure I can ever forgive him, what he did really hurt my feelings, and I want to be sure this will not happen again. My question is, how do you come to trust someone again, and how do you start to rebuild a marrage that has taked such a blow! Thanks!
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If you can't then close the book and move on!
So I agree, it takes time. And it will be little things over that time that will rebuild the trust. Don't run bullshit tests. A lot can happen if you can put the hurt aside for a while and not use it against him. Be his friend again.
If we had no kids I would have walked but divorce with kids not option for me(when i said for better or worse i meant it)
I do not trust my wife so cannot help there.
I really like the other two responses.
JJ
when you fully trust yourself then the fear goes away and the love (if it is still there)remains.
this is a toughie. but communication and honesty are key.
you can never be SURE it will not happen again, but obviously, right now, he is making amends.
and that's all we really have isn't it, right now?
blessings!
See where this is going? You have to consider that you have not always been perfect to him either but he's still there. Men handle stresses drastically different than woman do and sometimes, we make mistakes with our handling of those stresses. It doesn't excuse the complete lack of concern for your feelings, but perhaps he felt that you weren't concerned about his feelings either. As for the trusting him, you don't really have a choice that you'll like in this instance, but you do have an obligation. "In good times, and bad. In sickness and in health. ETC..." Sound familiar? You have to remember that the vows you made to each other aren't overlooked for one when the other screws up. You have to trust him or you'll drive yourself mad with speculation. If he hasn't cheated on you in the past, it's likely that he didn't this time either. If he has cheated on you in the past, then you already knew he had a tendency towards this behavior and decided to stay with him anyhow.
Don't take what I'm saying to you as an assault or anything like that, it's just that you put it out that you were serious and as far as my response to your posting, I'll be equally serious and direct. You deserve that, don't you? :P