
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

deleted_user
So, I've started to search for 'friendship' via internet. So far, it's been a damper in my life. All my 'real life' friends have either changed, gotten married, gotten pregnant, moved, or just don't even care. Anyway, I got an e-mail from this, so I thought, awesome gal. Real sweet, smart, crazily independent and open (so totally like me, except that I'm engaged). Well, we befriended one another on myspace. The next thing I know, she's friends with my fiance' and they e-mail one another more than she and I have from the beginning of our 'online' friendship. He says she constantly e-mails him about martial arts (he's incredibly talented and is skillful in all types). Is that weird, or am I just insecure? He says it's nothing to him (except that he has offered her lessons, for FREE). He also said that he would de-friend her from his myspace, but he hasn't (I know I shouldn't be checking his personal stuff, but it's hard not to when you know someone you don't really know is talking away with the one you're with). I think I wouldn't be so upset about it if she had asked if she could talk to him, but she made it her duty to get ahold of him. Okay, anyway, am I crazy for feeling jealous about that?

Goof
I am twice your age...but don't be surprised about what you find...when you go...snooping...it's wrong...I don't care how much you justify it...if there is no trust...there is no relationship...and if you feel the need to check his stuff....then there is a lack of trust here.......he should be able to have female friends...he IS with you...jealousy is awful.....

deleted_user
I think and it's solely my opinion that you and your new "friend" have no atachments that have developed over time as friends often have. Snooping is sometimes an indicative action of a"gut" feeling and if results are produced then it can be a confirmation. In a perfect world there would be no room for doubt and we would be able to trust blindly. He does have every right to have friends but in a case such as this it seems odd for an online friend to contact your fiancee'. I am not a jealous person and I don't believe in crossing certain lines but it seems as if certain unspoken lines have been crossed by both. However, I am on the outside looking in so I don't have a right to produce judgements on either of you. The only truth is how you feel. That is the only thing that can be undisputed.

deleted_user
yea i would be very suspicious too especially since this is an online friend that you have met and brought into your personal circle...idk why your fiance would feel the need to interact with her since shes not there in person..how did this woman get his contact info in the first place...and why does your fiance feel that he has to befriend this lady....saying hi and bye as a friendly aquaitence should be just enough..
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