So I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost 5 years. We have a 1 year old together. All we ever do is argue anymore. I am so untrusting of him. It started when we lived together the first time.. Not coming home.. He moved out on me while I was at work one day. He left all night one night and I called him and his ex who he has 2 children by answered the phone. Then the second time we lived together the second time... I talked to the EX and she said they were still sleeping together...i had just found out I was pregnant. Anyways fast forwarding the now. It started with an e mail I found in his account getting personal with some other woman. He tried to say it was him and his friends playing a joke but a joke doesnt get so personal that you talk about your dead brother, tell her where you live and give her your number...then his ex had old pics of them together up on her website and i flipped. She was saying that they were still together and all that bull... He said she was doing it to make me mad.. All of her online stuff is talking about him...She lives right up the road from him btw. I said well i still dont like it to make me mad or not.. She e mailed him a couple weeks ago talking about she loved him and couldnt wait to move in with him and all that bull..well like i told him that wasnt to make me mad. It was to him, she had no way of knowing i would see it. Im pretty confident that he has cheated on me. Could be our whole relationship, I honestly dont even know anymore or I dont think I really wanna know. So many lies and bull I catch him in and he always turns it around on me. Im not perfect but Im faithful. He doesnt realize that the things he does makes me act the way I do.. So to the point yesterday was his sons birthday party. It was at 11am. Our daughters sick bad and he cuts his phone off. He said it died.. The party was over by 1. He doesnt cut his phone back on until almost 6pm. Said it died and he had to go sign some papers for the house he is looking at buying. On a Saterday? The guy works out of his home but still... How many papers do you have to sign to get approved for a place when he has already signed papers on several occasions. I flipped out. I cant give him the benefit of the dout. I try and try and something suspious always happens agian. Only thing I ever ask of him is let me know if he talks to her and he doesnt even do that.. Oh i forgot..( excuses) He has them for everything... I dont understand why I just dont say screw it and let go.. Why cant I say screw it and let go..This isnt even the half of it but I always turn out to be the bad guy and smooth things over between us.. I cant go on but I cant let go.. i dont know what to do... Im sorry I rambled on..i have noone to talk to and he cant seem to talk it out without blowing up..its always back the F*** off me now...ugh...Im so lost everything is falling apart...
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